Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

This summer your local council organised a series of free concerts in your local park. You attended one of the concerts. The council has asked for feedback about the concerts.

Write a letter to the council giving your feedback. In your letter

• say which concert you attended

• explain why you enjoyed the concert

• make suggestions for improving next summer's concerts

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear Sir or Madam,

hi last week yor team create a gaming concerts.it was so amazing.many peoples are injoying this gaming concert. also i visit with my family in this concert.i see many children are very happy because children are playing games. i was played one game and i earn lot of money it was very greatful for me. also there is a side by food corner , that's good . they have lots of food and very delicious.

but the concert is very small, there is no chairs. many peoples are complenting . my suggestions next time you need a big concert and need a lots of chairs. but i really thankful you you are creating this concert, i loved this concert.

thanks

mohammad

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the event as a “gaming concert” and give relevant reasons for enjoying it, including the games, your family’s visit, and the food corner. You also suggest a larger venue and more chairs, so all three requested points are touched on. However, the concert type is unclear, and the reasons and suggestions are only briefly stated rather than explained or supported. The response is also 25 words below the required minimum, which limits how fully you can develop your feedback. To strengthen the letter, name the concert more precisely, explain what made the activities enjoyable, and add practical suggestions such as seating arrangements or clearer information about the programme. A more complete closing would also suit the purpose.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The letter has a basic sequence: you describe the event and what you liked, then introduce problems and suggestions. This helps the reader follow the main points, and words such as “also” and “but” signal addition and contrast. However, the ideas run together in one long paragraph, and repeated use of “also” and “concert” makes the progression feel repetitive. Some links are unclear, particularly the shift from playing a game to earning money. Divide the letter into paragraphs for positive feedback, areas to improve, and a closing. Use clearer links such as “One aspect I particularly enjoyed was…” and “However, next summer…” so each point connects naturally to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use basic vocabulary that communicates the main experience, including “children,” “food corner,” “chairs,” and “suggestions.” Some choices, however, are inaccurate or repetitive and make parts of the letter difficult to interpret. “Gaming concerts” does not clearly identify the event, while “I earn lot of money” may not express what happened at the game. There are also noticeable spelling and word-form errors, such as “injoying,” “complenting,” and “greatful.” Build a wider set of precise words for describing a concert and its organisation, and check spelling carefully. For example, specify whether it was a music concert or a games event, and describe the food as “tasty” or “delicious” without repeating the same general praise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Most sentences use a simple subject–verb pattern, and the reader can understand the general message. However, the range of structures is very limited, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries make the writing less controlled. Examples include “your team create” instead of a past-tense form, “many peoples are,” and “i was played one game.” The sentence beginning “but the concert is very small” also shifts tense from the past account to the present without a clear reason. Practise accurate past-tense sentences and combine related ideas with simple clauses, for example: “I attended with my family, and the children especially enjoyed the games.” Check capitalisation and punctuation when editing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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