Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

This summer your local council organised a series of free concerts in your local park. You attended one of the concerts. The council has asked for feedback about the concerts.

Write a letter to the council giving your feedback. In your letter

• say which concert you attended

• explain why you enjoyed the concert

• make suggestions for improving next summer's concerts

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir,

I am wiritng this letter to you for a feedbak about your concert that was i attended lst month. It was a summer music series that you organized in the city park near to downtown.

This event was very enjoying for me because i love music series and there was also arrangement of some vending machines for getting food and snacks. Along with that security personnals had very active and helping because i went there with my family and my Grandmom is old women so sometimes she need help for getting off from car then they helped us.

There was i observed somethings that was really disappointed mojority of people who attend this concert. First and a mojor thing was the team of musician number 2 was play instrument in a wrong way like sometime very hard or sometime low like lazy man. So i can suggest you please hire a professinal team for next time. I hope my feedback is important and helpful for next event

Thanking you,

Abhishek

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You cover the main purpose of the letter by identifying the summer music series in the city park, explaining that you enjoyed the music and the food facilities, and describing helpful security staff. You also make a suggestion about hiring a more capable musical team. However, the concert is not identified precisely, and the criticism of the second group is difficult to understand, so the reason for your recommendation is not fully clear. The task is therefore addressed, but some points are only partly developed. To strengthen the response, name the specific concert or performer, explain more clearly what went wrong, and offer another practical suggestion for next summer, such as improving seating or sound arrangements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a recognisable structure: an opening, a paragraph about what you enjoyed, and a final paragraph giving criticism and a suggestion. Linking phrases such as “Along with that” and “So” help show how some ideas relate. However, the final paragraph combines the problem, its effect on attendees, and your recommendation in a way that is hard to follow; “There was I observed somethings” does not clearly introduce the point. Some references, including “this event” and “they,” are also not always precise. Use clearer topic sentences and separate the positive feedback from the improvement points. More direct links such as “One issue was…” and “For next summer…” would make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the general situation, including “concert,” “vending machines,” “security,” and “musician.” There are also attempts to express evaluation, such as “helping” and “disappointed.” However, word choice, spelling, and collocation errors are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning difficult to interpret. For example, “very enjoying” and “play instrument in a wrong way” do not express your intended meaning naturally, while “mojority” and “professinal” are misspelled. Build a more accurate range of phrases for describing performances and services, and check spelling carefully. More precise wording would make your feedback clearer and more appropriate for a formal letter to the council.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example when explaining that you attended with your family and your grandmother needed assistance. This shows an effort to use more than short, simple statements. However, the longer structures are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction can make the message difficult to follow. Examples include “that was i attended,” “my Grandmom is old women,” and “the team … was play.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need more control. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with clauses using “because,” “when,” or “although.” Check that each sentence has a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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