Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

This summer your local council organised a series of free concerts in your local park. You attended one of the concerts. The council has asked for feedback about the concerts.

Write a letter to the council giving your feedback. In your letter

• say which concert you attended

• explain why you enjoyed the concert

• make suggestions for improving next summer's concerts

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear sir,

I am writing this letter to give my feedback about the free concerts you organized in our local park.

I recently attended a concert on Saturday. The most famous band of karachi, Young Stunners, had performed there for almost 3 hours. They sung different rap songs and many individuals came to listen them from different areas.

I would say I am not the lover of music, however their songs pulled me to listen them for 2 hours. I really enjoyed the concert because the weather was extremly pleasant and the food stalls fullfiled my craving to eat something while listening songs.

The event overall was extremly appreciatable, but little improvement needed to make it more successful and attractive. I would like to suggest you to improve your security arrangements because there was some pickpockets who stealed some valuables of individuals, like wallet, phone. My friend who went with me lose his phone cost about 2.5 lacs.

Thank you for your assistance. I hope my feedback will help you to improve your management for next summer's concert.

Yours sincerely,

Ahmad

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You address all three points clearly: you identify the Saturday concert featuring Young Stunners, explain that the music, pleasant weather and food stalls made it enjoyable, and suggest improving security after thefts occurred. The specific example of your friend losing a phone makes the recommendation relevant and gives it a clear reason. Your purpose and generally positive view of the event are also apparent throughout. To strengthen the response further, develop the improvement suggestions beyond security—for example, mention visible staff, better crowd monitoring or a way to report thefts. Also clarify the concert’s duration: you say the band performed for almost three hours but that you listened for two, which may leave the reader unsure how long you attended.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a clear overall progression: it opens with its purpose, describes the concert, explains your enjoyment, and then moves to a recommendation before closing politely. Paragraphing helps separate these stages, and links such as “however” and “because” show relationships between ideas. This gives the response a coherent structure. Some connections are less smooth, though: “The event overall was extremely appreciatable, but little improvement needed” shifts abruptly from praise to criticism, and the contrast between the band performing for almost three hours and your listening for two is not explained. A more explicit transition and clearer references would make the progression more natural and bring the cohesion closer to consistently flexible use.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the concert experience and the security concern, including “food stalls,” “security arrangements,” “pickpockets” and “valuables.” However, several noticeable spelling, word-form and collocation problems limit precision: “extremly,” “fullfiled,” “appreciatable,” “stealed” and “lose his phone” are not accurate forms in these contexts. Phrases such as “listen them” and “the most famous band of Karachi” also sound unnatural. These choices do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, but they make the letter less fluent and idiomatic. Focus on accurate common collocations and check spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including “I really enjoyed the concert because…” and “I am not the lover of music, however…”. The main message remains understandable, but errors occur in verb forms, articles, prepositions and sentence construction. For example, “They sung different rap songs” should use the appropriate past form, while “came to listen them” needs a preposition. In “there was some pickpockets who stealed,” the plural subject requires a plural verb, and the relative clause also contains an incorrect verb form. The sentence beginning “The event overall…” is missing a clear grammatical structure for the suggested improvement. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and building complete clauses, while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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