Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

This summer your local council organised a series of free concerts in your local park. You attended one of the concerts. The council has asked for feedback about the concerts.

Write a letter to the council giving your feedback. In your letter

• say which concert you attended

• explain why you enjoyed the concert

• make suggestions for improving next summer's concerts

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

dear sir or madam

hope so you are doing welll.

first of all, thank you so much for held a concerts in our local park because this kind of event never eveer help in park.

i attend i punjabi music concert there are varity of concerts likepunjabi, pop, rock music and so on.

there are various resons why i attend this event first and foremost is i belong to punajbi background and my family is also punjabi along with this from my childhood i listen only punajbi songs and i am stuidents and i do work so sometime i hgot stressed from title things brecause it is very difficult that arrange whole tasks together so i feel realxed after attend the concerts.

everthing is arranged well but i think for nexct time added more sitting area becuase there are lot of families whos attend the events so childerns and older faced problems in sitting becuasde there are not enough chairs. hope so this feebback will be hellpful for ypou guys.

thank you so much to give the chance to give feeback

your faithfully

simran

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all three requested points: you identify the Punjabi music concert, explain that it connected with your background and helped you relax, and suggest adding more seating. These details make the letter relevant and give the council a clear sense of your experience. However, some ideas are less fully explained than others. For example, the reason that the event helped with stress is present, but the phrase about managing tasks is unclear, and the seating suggestion would be stronger with a specific improvement, such as providing more chairs or reserving accessible seating for older visitors. The purpose is clear overall, though a more precise account of what worked well and what should change would make the feedback more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable progression: it thanks the council, describes the concert and your reasons for enjoying it, then offers a suggestion and closes politely. This overall arrangement helps the reader follow the main message. You also use linking expressions such as “first and foremost,” “along with this,” and “but.” At times, however, these links feel mechanical or connect ideas that are not clearly related, and several points are crowded into one long paragraph. The shift from your Punjabi background to work-related stress would be easier to follow if separated and explained in shorter sentences. Use clear paragraphs for the concert, your enjoyment, and your recommendation, and make references such as “this event” and “everything” more specific.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “concert,” “local park,” “families,” “children,” and “sitting area,” so the reader can understand the main subject and your recommendation. There are also attempts to express more specific ideas, such as feeling “stressed” and “relaxed.” However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the letter difficult to read, including “varity,” “resons,” “stuidents,” and “feebback.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “held a concerts” and “whole tasks together.” Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations for describing events and suggestions. More precise vocabulary would help you explain the concert’s atmosphere and the practical seating problem clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a sentence explaining your background and another describing how work and study can cause stress. The main message is generally recoverable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “I attend i punjabi music concert” needs a past-tense verb and an article, while “thank you so much for held a concerts” has an incorrect verb form and number agreement. The long sentence beginning “from my childhood” also needs clearer sentence boundaries and more controlled clause structure. Practise past-tense forms for describing the concert, articles and plural nouns, and punctuation between complete ideas. Shorter, accurate sentences would make your reasons and suggestions easier to understand.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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