Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

This summer your local council organised a series of free concerts in your local park. You attended one of the concerts. The council has asked for feedback about the concerts.

Write a letter to the council giving your feedback. In your letter

• say which concert you attended

• explain why you enjoyed the concert

• make suggestions for improving next summer's concerts

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear sir,

First off all thankyou for invitation of local organised a series of free concerts in local park.

I want to attend the political concert of muslim leauge non.I want to ask something about the maintainance about sitting area other wise the speech of maryium nawaz is good .She ask about to work in our country Pakistan.She helps poor people and funding into different organizations or charities.I have enjoyed the concer because she is a good for our country and helps to all other country also,if any one need about money they ask to our prime minister for their help.Our lady change the uniform of police and made some new department to help or justice for the poor people.They ask tht there or more facilities to our old man,Example if there id card's are expire they don't stand in a cue for their turn,they go and and do their work easily.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the event as a concert connected with the Muslim League and mention Maryam Nawaz, so the reader can partly understand which concert you mean. You also give reasons for your enjoyment, including her work for poor people and changes to police services. However, the response only partially fulfils the letter’s purpose: it does not clearly explain what made the concert itself enjoyable, and the opening reference to the “political concert” is difficult to interpret. Most importantly, you do not make clear, practical suggestions for improving next summer’s concerts; the question about maintaining the seating area is vague and not developed. Address each bullet directly, for example by naming the performer and suggesting more seating or better sound facilities.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is some relevant information, and the response moves from identifying the event to describing the speaker and her work. However, ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and the long central section combines several points without showing how they relate to the concert or to your feedback. Connections such as “because,” “also,” and “otherwise” are used, but the relationships between ideas are sometimes unclear; for instance, the seating concern is immediately followed by praise of the speech. The ending also does not provide a clear closing or final suggestion. Organise the letter into short paragraphs—event, reasons for enjoyment, and recommendations—and use linking phrases to make each point’s purpose clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “concert,” “charities,” “organizations,” “uniform,” and “facilities,” which helps convey the general subject. However, vocabulary is often basic or used in unclear combinations, and spelling errors sometimes make the message harder to follow. Phrases such as “invitation of local organised,” “maintainance about sitting area,” and “good for our country” do not express the intended meaning naturally. The repeated use of “help” also limits precision. Build a small set of accurate expressions for giving event feedback, such as “I attended the concert featuring…” and “The seating arrangements could be improved.” Check spelling and choose words that describe the concert experience rather than unrelated political details.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example when describing the speaker’s work and the services for older people. However, sentence structures are limited and errors are frequent enough to make some relationships difficult to understand. Examples include “I want to attend” where a past event is being described, “She ask,” and “she is a good for our country.” Articles, verb forms, agreement, and sentence boundaries also need attention; several ideas run together without full stops. Practise writing clear past-tense sentences about the concert, then add a reason or example using “because” or “which.” For instance: “I enjoyed the performance because the music was lively.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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