Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

This summer your local council organised a series of free concerts in your local park. You attended one of the concerts. The council has asked for feedback about the concerts.

Write a letter to the council giving your feedback. In your letter

• say which concert you attended

• explain why you enjoyed the concert

• make suggestions for improving next summer's concerts

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to inform you about the free concerts organised by the council in our local park which was amazing and I have attanded the performance of my favourite artist which is The Weekend, which were held in the evening, the park were fully packed,people enjoyed the each song performed by the artist the vibes were so fantastic it felt like I was over the moon, moreover, there was the full arrangments of the food and all stuff and there was a special corner setup for the children as well where they can play and ride the swings,only one thing which I personally think the negative point of the concert is that it was overcroweded because of that some people pushing each other for their spots, iif next summer this concert will going to happen in summer just make the seating arrangments and decide the crowed accordingly.

Thankyou

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You cover all three required points: you identify the concert as The Weeknd’s performance, explain that you enjoyed the atmosphere and the children’s area, and suggest better seating and crowd management. These details make the letter relevant and show a clear positive response, with a specific concern about overcrowding. The enjoyment is conveyed through phrases such as “the vibes were so fantastic,” but the reasons could be developed more clearly—for example, explain what made the performance or arrangements especially enjoyable. Your improvement suggestion is relevant, though “decide the crowd accordingly” is unclear; specify a practical measure such as limiting attendance or providing more seating. This addresses the task well overall, while some ideas remain less fully explained or precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response includes a recognisable sequence: it introduces the concert, describes what you enjoyed, raises a problem, and offers a suggestion. Linking expressions such as “moreover” and “because of that” help show relationships between ideas. However, nearly all the information is packed into one long sentence, so the progression is difficult to follow and the links feel mechanical. The shift from the enjoyable features to overcrowding would be clearer in a separate paragraph, followed by a distinct paragraph for recommendations. Some connections are also unclear, particularly the transition into “if next summer this concert will going to happen.” Use shorter sentences and paragraph breaks to make each purpose of the letter easy to identify.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary to describe a live event, including “performance,” “fully packed,” “arrangements,” and “overcrowded,” and phrases such as “over the moon” communicate enthusiasm. However, the range is limited and several choices or spellings reduce precision, including “the vibes,” “all stuff,” “crowed,” and “attanded.” “The Weekend” also appears to be an inaccurate spelling of the performer’s name, The Weeknd. Some expressions are vague or unnatural, such as “decide the crowd accordingly,” which makes the recommendation hard to understand. Aim for more precise event-related language—for example, describe the atmosphere as “lively” and refer to “refreshment stalls” or “crowd-control measures.” Proofreading would also help correct noticeable spelling errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to combine ideas using relative clauses and conditional language, but the response relies heavily on one extended sentence, and many structures are faulty. Examples include “the park were fully packed” and “the artist which were held,” where agreement and clause structure are incorrect, as well as “they can play” after a past-tense description. The proposed condition, “if next summer this concert will going to happen,” also has an incorrect verb form. Punctuation is a significant issue: commas join several complete ideas, and the closing “Thankyou” is not separated as a proper sign-off. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add a few controlled complex forms. For example: “The park was very crowded, so some people pushed one another to find a place.”

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