Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

This summer your local council organised a series of free concerts in your local park. You attended one of the concerts. The council has asked for feedback about the concerts.

Write a letter to the council giving your feedback. In your letter

• say which concert you attended

• explain why you enjoyed the concert

• make suggestions for improving next summer's concerts

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear sir or Madam,

I want to talk about the concert you organised in our local park for us. I want to share my experience with you about one of your music concert that you organised in our local park. First i want to tell you why attended that concert beacuse i am very found of hindi music.And in that concert my favourite singer is invited. So i want to expericence it live,so i made a plan with my friend to go and enjoy the concert.We bought the ticket from ticket shops that are outside of the concert.Then we go inside the park to watched the concert but when we enterted it already started and our favourite singer is performing on the stage.We enjoy alot when we listen our favourite sniger live. But i would gave You one suggestion to improve that i dont like about it security. For that kind of big concert you should arrange a security. In future i hope so you should consider my suggestion and arranged security.

yours well wisher,

xyz

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the event as a concert featuring your favourite Hindi singer and explain that hearing the singer perform live made it enjoyable. You also offer a relevant suggestion about improving security. However, the task is only partly addressed: the concert is not clearly named or described beyond the singer, and the reason for enjoying it is brief. The improvement point is also under-developed; explain what security problem you noticed and what the council could do, such as adding trained staff at entrances. The opening repeats that you want to share your experience, while the closing does not clearly restate your request. Develop each required point with specific details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response follows a broadly understandable sequence: you introduce the concert, describe arriving and listening to the singer, then give a suggestion. Basic linking words such as “First,” “So,” and “But” help show the order of events. However, the letter has no paragraph breaks, and the opening repeats the same idea in “I want to talk about” and “I want to share my experience.” Some connections are unclear, particularly the shift from buying tickets to entering the park and the final move to future concerts. Organise the letter into short paragraphs for the concert, your experience, and your suggestions, and use clearer links between the details.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main points, including “concert,” “favourite singer,” “live,” and “security.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the reader pause. For example, “music concert” is repetitive, “ticket shops” is unclear, and “I am very found of hindi music” does not express the intended meaning naturally. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “expericence,” “sniger,” and “beacuse.” Choose more precise phrases and check spelling; for instance, describe the event as a “live Hindi music concert” and say you are “a big fan of Hindi music.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example, “when we entered it already started and our favourite singer is performing,” but these structures are often faulty. Tense shifts make the sequence difficult to follow: the account moves between “attended,” “go,” “enjoy,” and “would gave.” There are also frequent errors with sentence construction, articles, and punctuation, as in “First i want to tell you why attended that concert” and “when we listen our favourite sniger live.” Use past tense consistently for the concert, and check that each sentence has a subject and a complete verb phrase. Shorter, accurately punctuated sentences would make your meaning clearer.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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