Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

This summer your local council organised a series of free concerts in your local park. You attended one of the concerts. The council has asked for feedback about the concerts.

Write a letter to the council giving your feedback. In your letter

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Councillor,

I am writing to give my feedback regarding one of the music concert which I attended on May 6th, at Greenfield park.

Honestly, I heard about this event on our city's radio station few weeks ago. First of all, I had not make any mind to attend it but after hearing of famous music band to perform with elegant, an artist Taylor swift, I deicided to go through this event.

I was so much relaxed and rejoyed after hearing the famous lyrics from an artist. Several musical style was played with different voice and beats which results in aesthetic atmosphere around the park.

I would like to bring forward to you about some issues which I faced during the event. The catering staff was so rude while serving the snacks and drinks which could be improve by giving contract to another caterers. Parking was not sufficient to park cars, As a result, we have to paid for extra parking on the street.

I hope this matter will be address sonner in our next summer concert. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Yours faithfully,

Raj

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all three requested points: you identify the concert and date, explain that you enjoyed hearing Taylor Swift’s songs and the atmosphere, and suggest changes to catering and parking. These are relevant details, and the reader can understand your overall positive experience alongside the problems. However, some points are less fully developed than others. For example, the enjoyment is described generally as feeling “relaxed” and enjoying the “famous lyrics,” without a specific moment or detail about the performance. The suggestions are clear but could be more constructive and precise, such as explaining how parking capacity or staff service could be improved. A fuller explanation of these ideas would make the feedback more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a coherent overall arrangement: you introduce your purpose, describe how you heard about the event and what you enjoyed, then move to problems and suggestions before closing. Paragraphing helps distinguish these stages, and phrases such as “First of all,” “As a result,” and “I hope” guide the reader through the message. This clear progression is a strength. Some linking is mechanical or not quite suited to the relationship between ideas: “First of all” does not lead to a sequence of points, while “Honestly” adds little to the formal feedback. The reference in “this event” is also slightly vague after several details. More natural transitions and clearer links between each problem and its proposed solution would make the cohesion more flexible.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “catering staff,” “snacks and drinks,” “parking,” and “aesthetic atmosphere.” There are also attempts at less common or expressive language, such as “bring forward” and “rejoiced,” although these are not used naturally in context. Several word-choice and spelling errors are noticeable, including “music concert,” “deicided,” “rejoyed,” and “sonner.” Phrases such as “famous lyrics from an artist” and “different voice and beats” are understandable but imprecise. These issues do not prevent the reader from following your message, but more accurate collocations and careful proofreading would improve clarity and control. Prefer straightforward, natural expressions over ambitious wording that does not fit the meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple sentences and attempts at more complex structures, for example the sentence beginning “after hearing of famous music band” and the result clause “which results in aesthetic atmosphere.” The overall meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors occur across verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. Examples include “I had not make any mind,” “Several musical style was played,” and “we have to paid.” The sentence about the band and Taylor Swift is also difficult to follow because its structure is incomplete. There are some punctuation and capitalisation problems, such as the comma splice before “As a result.” Review past-tense forms, subject–verb agreement, and sentence boundaries, while keeping the useful variety of structures you attempt.

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