Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

This summer your local council organised a series of free concerts in your local park. You attended one of the concerts. The council has asked for feedback about the concerts.

Write a letter to the council giving your feedback. In your letter

• say which concert you attended

• explain why you enjoyed the concert

• make suggestions for improving next summer's concerts

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear sir or Madam,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing to express my concern about the music concert that i attended last week in Holand Park which is located in Surrey, British Coulmbia, in Canada and suggest some ways to improve the concert for next summer.

First of all, i enjoyed my last concert because i went with my friends there and we danced alot and tried many food as well captured many picture with them.

However, there was a one thing which i did not line that was a customer service because the customer service staff gave us wrong direction of parking where we wasted a lot of time. As a

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the concert as the one you attended last week in Holand Park and give relevant reasons for enjoying it, including going with friends, dancing and trying food. You also begin to describe a problem with parking directions, which could support a useful suggestion. However, the response is incomplete: the final sentence stops at “As a”, so the concern is not fully explained and no clear improvement for next summer is provided. The task is therefore addressed only partially, with ideas left undeveloped. The response is also 35 words below the required minimum, which limits how fully you can cover all three points. Complete the letter by explaining the parking issue and proposing specific changes, such as clearer signs or better-trained staff.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The letter has a recognisable opening and a basic sequence: you introduce your purpose, describe what you enjoyed, and then turn to a problem with “However”. These links help the reader follow the main direction of your message. At present, though, the response ends abruptly in the middle of a sentence, so there is no conclusion or completed suggestion, and the ideas do not form a complete progression. The first paragraph also combines the location, purpose and several details in one long sentence. Use separate paragraphs for your positive feedback, the problem and your recommendations, then finish with a brief closing. This would make the organisation clearer and the relationships between points easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough basic vocabulary to communicate the main experience, including “concert”, “danced”, “food” and “parking”. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “customer service staff” and “wrong direction of parking”. However, several word choices and spelling errors make the writing less natural, including “tried many food”, “captured many picture” and “did not line that”. “Concern” also suggests a complaint more strongly than the mainly positive feedback in the opening. Choose accurate collocations and check spelling: for example, say “tried different foods”, “took many pictures” and “did not like”. A broader range of precise language for the concert and proposed improvements would make the letter more effective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including a reason clause with “because” and a contrast introduced by “However”. The main message is generally understandable, but the range is limited and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. For example, “there was a one thing” has an unnecessary article, and “we danced alot and tried many food as well captured” lacks a clear grammatical connection between the activities. The final “As a” is an incomplete clause. Use complete sentences, check articles and plural forms, and connect actions with structures such as “We danced, tried several foods and took photos.” Proofreading sentence endings and punctuation would also help.

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