Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

This summer your local council organised a series of free concerts in your local park. You attended one of the concerts. The council has asked for feedback about the concerts.

Write a letter to the council giving your feedback. In your letter

• say which concert you attended

• explain why you enjoyed the concert

• make suggestions for improving next summer's concerts

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir or Madam,

I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to bring to your attention the concerts held in the local park.

I was so delighted to know that the council has arranged multiple concerts for the public and that my favourite artist was also performing. Fortunately, Atif Aslam was performing on Saturday night, and I was free from work.

There were many food stalls and fun activities for the public. My family and I really enjoyed it after a long time. Such family events should be held at least every six months. My younger brother had a great time playing games at different stalls, and my mother enjoyed eating homemade dishes from the stalls.

The event was superb and was well organized. I would like to suggest some advice on marketing. I think many residents were not aware of the event and could not attend it. The marketing should be done more on the internet so that people outside the society also get to know about it. Moreover, more parking area should be allocated. I think next time the school parking should be utilized for this purpose.

I look forward to hearing back from you.

Yours sincerely,

Dua E Akhtar.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You address all three points clearly: you identify Atif Aslam’s Saturday-night performance, explain that you enjoyed the event with your family and describe the food stalls and games, then suggest better online promotion and additional parking. These details make the letter relevant and give the council useful feedback. The enjoyment is supported with specific examples, especially your brother playing games and your mother trying the dishes. To make the ideas more fully developed, explain more precisely what you liked about the concert itself, rather than focusing mainly on the surrounding activities. The suggestions could also be more practical—for example, specify which online channels to use or how the school parking could be arranged. Overall, the task is addressed with a clear purpose and relevant support, though some points remain general.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a clear overall progression: it introduces the purpose, identifies the concert, describes the family’s experience, and then offers suggestions before closing. Paragraphing helps distinguish these stages, and linking expressions such as “Moreover” make the recommendations easy to follow. The sequence within the event paragraph is also understandable, moving from the stalls to individual family members’ experiences. However, some connections are a little mechanical, and the opening paragraph is broad before the specific concert is named. The transition from enjoying the event to suggesting that such events be held every six months could be made more explicit. For stronger cohesion, use more precise references to connect each recommendation to an issue raised earlier, while keeping the current clear paragraph structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range for a formal feedback letter, including relevant expressions such as “well organized,” “marketing,” “residents,” and “allocated.” The vocabulary communicates your experience and recommendations clearly, and the tone is generally appropriate. There are, however, some awkward word choices and collocations: “bring to your attention the concerts” is not quite natural for giving feedback, and “suggest some advice on marketing” combines two expressions that do not fit together. “More on the internet” is also vague where a more precise phrase could identify online promotion. Aim for natural, specific combinations rather than adding formality for its own sake. More precise vocabulary for the concert experience and practical improvements would make the letter more flexible and polished.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including the subordinate clause in “I was delighted to know that the council has arranged multiple concerts” and the sentence explaining that residents “were not aware of the event and could not attend it.” Most sentences are easy to understand, and the letter’s meaning remains clear. Some grammatical and punctuation slips remain. In “Fortunately, Atif Aslam,” the capital letter after the comma is unnecessary; “more parking area should be allocated” also needs a determiner or plural form, such as “more parking spaces should be allocated.” The sentence “My family and I really enjoyed it after a long time” has an unclear reference for “it.” Review articles, number, and punctuation, and vary sentence patterns while maintaining accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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