Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays many large international companies offer their staff the opportunity to spend a period of time living and working in another country.
Why might this opportunity be good for employees?
What advantages does this development have for companies?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Lately, many youngsters are spending their quality time with social media and smart phones. This has led to some serious issues regarding their health, studies and even relationships. Major causes behind this can be unavailibilty of careful parenting and lack of extra co-curricular activities. However, this problem can be solved by proper parenting and providing young people the opportunities to engage socially.
There can be tremendous reasons behind this trend. In the race to achieve success, people especially parents, have been neglecting their children. Emotional unavailability results in loneliness among children and youngsters. Instead of seeking help from their loved ones, they find comfort on social platforms by connecting with other individuals. Moreover, with the advancement in technology, a variety of options for entertainment are available on phones or other such gadgets. As a result, young people are spending leisure time with their smart phones instead of outdoor activities.
To solve this rising issue, parents should act more responsible and should emphasise on their child's upbringing. Spending quality time with family can assist youngsters to create a sense of belongingness. Also, schools and universities should regularly organise events that can promote youth to participate. This will aid students to become more social and can also be used as a great example to showcase various other ways of entertainment beyond smart phones.
In conclusion, this emerging issue needs serious attention. Improper use of technology can sever
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0
The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks about the benefits of international work assignments for employees and companies, but you have written an essay about the negative impact of social media on young people. Because you did not address the task requirements at all, the score is severely impacted. Additionally, the essay is incomplete, ending abruptly mid-sentence, and fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words. To improve, you must carefully read the prompt and ensure your ideas directly answer the specific questions asked.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is structured into paragraphs, and there is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion'. However, because the content is irrelevant to the prompt, the logical progression is undermined. The essay also ends abruptly, which disrupts the overall coherence of the piece. While you demonstrate an understanding of how to structure an essay, the lack of relevant content makes it difficult to follow a logical argument related to the task.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
You use a range of vocabulary that is generally appropriate for the topic of social media, such as 'unavailability', 'advancement', and 'belongingness'. However, there are some inaccuracies, such as 'unavailibilty' (spelling error) and 'sever' (incomplete word). The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your ideas about the off-topic subject, but it lacks the sophistication required for higher bands. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure your spelling is accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'Instead of seeking help from their loved ones, they find comfort on social platforms'. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'parents should act more responsible' (should be 'responsibly') and 'promote youth to participate' (should be 'encourage youth'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the incomplete final sentence significantly impacts the overall grammatical control. You need to focus on adverb usage and ensure your sentences are complete.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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