Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear jack,

I am writing this letter in the regard of as i am new employee i will tell you about my self through this letter.

Now, i am hoing to explain about my self and my studies. I am graduate at nait college. I did diploma in bussiness adminstration Managment. I am working at walmart as i am store manager there. i gave good experience of cashier and handling rood customer too. I had three years exoerience in walmart . Moreover three year experience at Tim hortons as well.

Here i would like to expplain which kind of help i want from mentor. it would be regarding my future as i am

student and on work permit. I would ask him which kind of job is benefical for me to get permanent residence here and in which job i can earn money alot with goob job. That advice would be helpful

for me to make my future bright.

I have already made plan. we will meet at winsper center it is close to my home and perfect place to meet people beacuse it is peacful and quiet place. I will see you at first floor at starbuks.

I am very curious to meet with you and i hope you find my letter well.

Thank

you

your sincerly,

jashan

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three requested points: you outline your business administration diploma and work at Walmart and Tim Hortons, explain that you want career guidance, and propose meeting at a specific place. The request for advice about suitable work and permanent residence is relevant, although it would be more effective to explain what kind of career development support you want from an experienced colleague, rather than focusing mainly on immigration and earning more money. The meeting plan is also clear, but it is presented as already decided; asking whether the time and location suit your mentor would make the arrangement more considerate. A more complete introduction could briefly describe your current role and career goals, so the mentor understands your background and how best to support you.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a clear overall arrangement: an opening, a paragraph about your background, one about the help you want, and a final paragraph proposing a meeting. This makes the main points easy to locate. You also use basic linking expressions such as “Moreover” and “Here,” though some transitions feel mechanical, and the repeated “about my self” does not help the progression. The meeting details are grouped together, but the shift from your career request to the meeting could be smoother. Paragraphing is appropriate, while the closing is separated awkwardly across “Thank / you.” Use a more natural sequence of ideas and clearer links between sentences, and make the meeting proposal a question or invitation to improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main information, including terms such as “diploma,” “store manager,” “work permit,” and “permanent residence.” However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: “hoing,” “bussiness,” “benefical,” and “goob” appear in key parts of the letter. Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “handling rood customer” and “earn money alot with goob job.” Choose more precise workplace language and check spelling carefully. For example, you could describe experience in “customer service” and ask about “career opportunities that could support my long-term plans.” A wider range of natural expressions for mentoring and professional development would make the letter more effective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and the reader can generally understand your background and requests. However, some errors in sentence structure, verb forms, articles, and punctuation remain. For example, “I am graduate at nait college” needs a complete verb phrase, while “I did diploma” is missing an article. The opening, “I am writing this letter in the regard of as i am new employee,” combines clauses in a way that is difficult to follow. Capitalisation and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “i gave good experience” after a full stop. Practise building clear sentences with one main idea, then connect them with accurate conjunctions. Proofreading for articles, verb forms, and punctuation would improve control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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