Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.
Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter
give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience
explain what help you hope your mentor can give
suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear....... ,
Student answer (Band 5.5)
DEAR DOCTOR ARSHAD,
With hope that you are doing well, I am writing you to introduce myself. My name is Doctor Madiha Iqbal. I have recently joined your institution. I have done my MBBS degree from Faisalabad Medical university, Faisalabad. After completion of my degree, I did my house job from Allied hospital,Faisailabad. Then I got opportunity to work at Shaukat Khanum Hospital, Lahore. I worked in Pediatric oncology Unit for 3 years. Recently I returned home and joined your institution as Medical Officer.
During my past few days in your Hospital I found you helpful and respective towards employees working under your supervision. I got to know that you have done Post graduation in pediatrics. I would like to request you to please hire me as a doctor in your pediatric ward as I have worked in pediatrics. I feel myself affectionate and loving towards children.I feel pleased when I find myself relieving pain of little flowers and making them comfortable.
Respected Sir, I want to meet you in person to discuss my routine and availablity. We can make list of important topics to discuss in weekly meetings. I hope that you will consider me as a best candidate for Pediatric ward. Waiting for a positive response from your side.
Thanking you in anticipation.
Your sincerely,
Dr Madiha Iqbal.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
You provide relevant background, including your MBBS, house job, and three years in paediatric oncology, and you explain that you would like to discuss your routine and meet regularly. However, the letter does not clearly fulfil the purpose of introducing yourself to a mentor: the request to “hire me as a doctor in your pediatric ward” shifts the focus to seeking a job, even though you say you have already joined as a Medical Officer. The help you hope to receive is also not stated clearly; asking to discuss your routine is too general. The meeting proposal lacks a specific time, place, or suggested arrangement. Keep the focus on mentoring and state what guidance you need, such as advice on adapting to the role or developing clinical skills.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The letter has a recognisable structure: your background comes first, followed by your comments about the mentor and a closing paragraph about meeting. This makes the main information reasonably easy to follow. Paragraphing is appropriate, and sequence markers such as “After completion” and “Then” help present your work history. However, the progression becomes less clear when the second paragraph moves from describing the mentor to asking for a position in the paediatric ward. The final paragraph also combines a meeting request, weekly topics, and a hope of being selected for a ward, so its purpose is diffuse. Use clearer links between your experience, the mentoring support you seek, and a practical first-meeting proposal.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use a range of relevant workplace and medical vocabulary, including “house job,” “Pediatric oncology Unit,” “Medical Officer,” and “weekly meetings.” These terms help communicate your professional background. There are also attempts at more expressive language, such as “relieving pain” and “making them comfortable,” although “little flowers” sounds overly sentimental and is not suitable for a professional letter. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “respective towards employees” and “availablity.” “Hire me” is also inappropriate in context because you are writing to a mentor, not applying for a job. Aim for precise, professional phrasing and check spelling and natural word combinations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You use both simple sentences and some longer structures, and the sequence of past study and work is generally understandable. Several sentences communicate their meaning clearly, for example, “I worked in Pediatric oncology Unit for 3 years.” However, some grammatical errors remain. “I am writing you” needs a preposition (“I am writing to you”), and “I feel myself affectionate” has an incorrect construction; use “I feel affection for children” or “I am caring towards children.” There are also problems with articles and punctuation, as in “in Pediatric oncology Unit” and the missing space after the comma in “hospital,Faisailabad.” Review sentence patterns, articles, and punctuation to make the letter more consistently accurate.
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