Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear mam,

Ihope you are doing well, I am writing you letter in connection of introduction of my self and what i wanted to achieve in my life.

Having significant outline about my academic and job is vital for you. I have completed my graduation in economics and my experience is in sales manger, i learned various skilles while i was doing work such as computer skills , team work , problem and sollution.

As you are mentor and you have plenty of knowledge about career and scope in this era.I am expecting from you that I want make my self more confident and professional. I lack in these ones because at my pevious job was not able to beat any competion so I hope you will aid me in this way.

I hope you will be free next week, I wanted to see you at one cafee which would be peaceful. As yo are mentor , i wanted to see you only , it is my humble request that do not bring any extra person who could distract our meeting.

I hope you will come and thank you for your time and consideration.

With best regards,

Ramandeep kaur

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address all three requested points: you mention your economics degree and sales experience, explain that you want to become more confident and professional, and propose meeting at a café next week. However, the details are limited, so the background and the kind of career support you need are not fully clear. For example, “I learned various skills” gives only a broad summary; naming a relevant responsibility or skill would make your experience more informative. The request that your mentor not bring anyone else also sounds unusually restrictive and does not help establish a warm professional relationship. Explain more specifically what guidance you hope to receive and suggest a practical time or ask when your mentor is available.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph about your background, one about the support you want, and a proposed meeting. This makes the main purpose easy to follow, and phrases such as “As you are mentor” help signal a shift in topic. To make the progression more natural, connect the ideas within paragraphs more smoothly and avoid repeating the same framing. For instance, “As you are mentor” appears twice, while the final paragraph moves from suggesting a café to asking the mentor not to bring anyone else without a clear transition. A more conventional closing and a direct question about the mentor’s availability would strengthen the flow and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the workplace and career, including “graduation in economics,” “team work,” “professional,” and “career.” However, the range is limited, and several inaccurate word choices or spellings make parts of the letter less clear or natural. Examples include “sales manger,” “skilles,” “sollution,” and “beat any competion.” Some phrases, such as “scope in this era,” are also vague for this context. Aim for precise, natural expressions that describe your experience and goals, such as “worked as a sales manager,” “developed problem-solving skills,” and “improve my confidence in professional settings.” Proofreading spelling and collocations will make your meaning easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including “I hope you will be free next week” and a sentence explaining what support you expect. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence boundaries, articles, verb patterns, and punctuation sometimes make the reader work to understand your meaning. For example, “Ihope you are doing well, I am writing you letter” joins two sentences with a comma and omits an article; “I want make my self” has an incomplete verb pattern; and “at my pevious job was not able” lacks a clear subject. Use shorter, complete sentences first, then add clauses carefully. Check articles, subject–verb structure, and punctuation when editing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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