Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.
Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter
give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience
explain what help you hope your mentor can give
suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear....... ,
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Dear Sir,
I am writing this letter to introduce myself to you. I am a new employee in this organization and you are assigned to mentor me. I am very excited to get infromation and learn something new from you.
I want to inform you that I had Bachelor Degree in Health Science. Last three years I worked in the Private Hospital. I have good skills to handel any kind of emergency situation. In addition to it, my command on computer softwares is very good.
I am hoping you to learn more and advance skills from you. Also, I want to know the rules and regulations at the workplace.
It will be so great if we can fix a meeting as soon as possible. I am ready to meet you at any time, as per your schedule. We can also meet virtually as well on Zoom meeting as per your choice.
I am hoping for a postive response from you.
Yours Sincerely,
Sagar
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
You address all three requested points: you outline your Health Science degree and three years in a private hospital, identify support you want with workplace rules and developing your skills, and propose a meeting soon, either in person or on Zoom. The purpose is clear and the details are relevant. The background and meeting arrangements are reasonably specific, while the help you hope to receive is less fully explained: “learn more and advance skills” does not say which professional skills or career goals you want to work on. The greeting “Dear Sir” is also less personal than introducing yourself directly to the named mentor, if their name is available. Developing the mentoring request with one or two concrete goals would make the response more complete.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0
The letter has a clear progression: introduction, education and experience, requested support, meeting arrangements, and a polite closing. Separate paragraphs make each part easy to locate, and links such as “In addition to it” and “Also” help connect related points. The sequence is logical and the reader can follow your purpose throughout. Some transitions are a little formulaic, and the repeated use of “I” at the start of sentences makes the flow less varied. You could improve cohesion by linking ideas more naturally—for example, connect your hospital experience to the specific skills you want to develop with your mentor—and avoid adding a second connector where the relationship is already clear.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main information, including relevant terms such as “Health Science,” “emergency situation,” “rules and regulations,” and “virtually.” However, several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “infromation,” “handel,” and “postive.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise: “my command on computer softwares” and “advance skills” do not express your meaning idiomatically. The range is adequate for this familiar workplace letter, but it relies on general wording such as “learn something new” and “at any time.” Choose accurate collocations and more specific professional vocabulary to make your experience and mentoring goals sound clearer and more polished.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You use a mixture of simple sentences and some longer structures, and the message remains understandable. There are, however, some errors in sentence patterns, articles, and verb forms. For example, “I had Bachelor Degree” needs a more suitable construction such as “I have a bachelor’s degree,” while “I am hoping you to learn” does not form the intended pattern; use “I hope to learn from you” or “I hope you can help me learn.” In “Last three years I worked,” the time expression and tense need adjustment, such as “For the last three years, I have worked.” Practise these common patterns and vary sentence structures while checking articles and prepositions.
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