Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Micheal

I am informed you regarding my new joining in the company.I get software enigneer position in microsoft and my name is Pawan.Therefore, i recently completed my software enigneer diploma from lovely professional university.I also have part experience in this department but during my work training i faced some hurdles in coding sector. Because microsoft has a extremely complicated software desigen which i never experinced in my career.However,i have a wide knowledge about the different designing systems.Therefore, i am contact you regarding this problem because you have tremendeous career in this sector as well being senior in the company.I can learn this complicated skills from you.We can make our schedule after the work because newly learning courses are available in the company.And we can attain courese from our personal mentor.As well, we can meet on monday during the lunch break for exchanging our thoughts because we never sit together before.

Thanks

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three requested points: you introduce yourself and mention your diploma and work training, explain that you want support with coding and the company’s software, and propose meeting on Monday during lunch. These details make the letter relevant and its purpose clear. However, the study and work background is brief, and the help you seek is not fully specific: “I can learn this complicated skills from you” does not explain what kind of guidance or career support would be most useful. The meeting proposal is also somewhat unclear because you mention courses after work before suggesting lunch. Develop these points with a little more detail and make the arrangements more definite.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The ideas follow a broadly sensible order, moving from your introduction and background to the support you want and a possible meeting. However, the response is presented as one continuous paragraph, so the stages of the letter are not clearly separated. Linking words such as “Therefore,” “Because,” and “However” are repeated or do not always show the relationship between ideas accurately. For example, “Therefore, i am contact you regarding this problem” does not connect smoothly to the preceding point. Use separate paragraphs for your background, request, and meeting proposal, and choose simpler, more precise links. A clear closing and sign-off would also make the letter feel complete.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the workplace and your field, including “software engineer,” “coding,” “career,” and “mentor,” so the reader can understand the main topic. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make parts difficult to read, such as “part experience,” “complicated software design,” and “tremendeous career.” Some expressions are also vague or unnatural, including “exchanging our thoughts.” Aim for accurate, natural phrases rather than trying to make the wording sound formal. Proofread spelling carefully and use specific terms for the experience you have and the guidance you want; this will make your message clearer and more professional.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in sentence construction, verb forms, articles, and punctuation occur often enough to make some sentences awkward or unclear. For example, “I am informed you regarding my new joining” has an incorrect verb pattern, while “I am contact you” needs a correctly formed verb. The sentence beginning “Because microsoft has…” is also left as a fragment, and several sentences run together without appropriate punctuation. Practise building accurate basic sentences first, then combine them with clauses using “because” or “although.” Check verb forms and sentence boundaries before submitting.

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