Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to apply for the temporary job of sales Manager on a voluntary basis work. I am onkar singh from Texas, Houston. I came to know about it from an ad in the Employment News Weekly.

I have graduated in International marketing from the University of Texas. I would be happy to provide reference from members of the community.

My chances of finding permanent employment will improve substantially if I get this opportunity to work for your organization. I assure you, Sir, I will provide excellent service to both the organization and its customers.

I am available to come for an interview at your convenience and look forward to hearing from you soon.

your faithfully,

Onkar singh

It was such a pleasant to hear from you. I feel honoured that you have asked from my advice regarding the choice of subject.

Music and business management are very different subject. Both have there own scope

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response is confusing because it appears to combine two completely different tasks. The first part is a formal job application letter, while the second paragraph shifts abruptly to a response regarding advice on a choice of subject. This indicates a failure to address the specific prompt requirements consistently. While the job application section covers the purpose of the letter and provides some personal details, the inclusion of irrelevant, disconnected text in the second paragraph significantly undermines the task achievement. To improve, ensure that the content remains focused solely on the specific instructions provided in the prompt and maintain a single, coherent topic throughout the letter.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The letter lacks logical progression due to the sudden shift in topic between the first and second sections. While there is some attempt at paragraphing, the transition is non-existent, making the text feel disjointed. Cohesive devices are used in a very basic manner, such as 'I am writing' and 'I am available', but the overall structure is compromised by the inclusion of the unrelated second paragraph. To achieve a higher score, you must ensure that all sentences contribute to a single, unified purpose and use linking words more effectively to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally functional but limited. You use some appropriate phrases like 'temporary job' and 'International marketing', but there are errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'voluntary basis work' (should be 'voluntary basis') and 'pleasant to hear' (should be 'pleasure to hear'). The range is sufficient for basic communication, but there is little evidence of less common or more sophisticated lexical items. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure that your word forms are accurate in a formal context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'Both have there own scope' (should be 'their') and 'your faithfully' (should be 'Yours faithfully'). Additionally, there are punctuation and capitalization issues, such as 'Onkar singh' (should be 'Onkar Singh'). While these errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding the message, they are frequent enough to impact the overall quality. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement, spelling, and standard formal letter conventions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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