Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.
Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter
give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience
explain what help you hope your mentor can give
suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear....... ,
Student answer (Band 4.5)
I am writing to express my experience with my mentor who was guided me while starting my new job in sales campony from last 2 weeks.
As you know i am working in Amason company warehouse where i had to pack parcel for customers. It was completely hard for me because it was night duty for longer hours.
my current job is parcel package in flipcard company where i recieve some assistance from my experience colleague.They provides all the details of daily parcel in brief and check my work and recover my mistakes for further good performance.
my mentor was arrange one meeting with unkonwn staff, His arrangement was outstanding to look each and every thing in breif way such as screen board,setting area and food arrangement and so on.
I would appreciate to have such experience mentor who helped to improve my work in new workplace.
Your sincerely
rajan
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response covers the main bullet points of the task to a certain extent, such as mentioning work experience and suggesting a meeting, but it struggles significantly with the core purpose of the letter. The prompt asks you to write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor as a new employee. However, your opening states 'I am writing to express my experience with my mentor who was guided me... from last 2 weeks,' which confuses the roles and suggests you are writing about a past experience rather than introducing yourself to someone new. Furthermore, the details regarding previous studies are missing, as you immediately jump into past jobs at Amazon and Flipkart. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed, leading to a band score of 4.5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The letter lacks logical organisation and clear progression. The paragraphs feel disjointed and do not flow naturally from one idea to the next. For instance, jumping abruptly from packing parcels at Amazon to a new job at Flipkart without transitional phrases disrupts the narrative flow. Additionally, referencing pronouns is occasionally unclear, such as 'His arrangement was outstanding', where the antecedent is ambiguous. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal structure of the sentences and paragraphs makes it difficult for the reader to follow the sequence of ideas easily. Therefore, this section meets the criteria for Band 5.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is quite limited and repetitive, with basic terms such as 'job', 'work', and 'company'. There are also several noticeable word choice and spelling errors that impede communication, such as 'campony' instead of company, 'Amason' instead of Amazon, 'flipcard' instead of Flipkart, and 'unkonwn' instead of unknown. Phrases like 'parcel package' are misused instead of parcel packing or packaging. While some workplace vocabulary is attempted, the frequent errors and restricted range mean the response falls into Band 4.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The grammatical structures are generally simple, and attempts at more complex sentences are frequently faulty. For example, 'who was guided me while starting my new job' contains incorrect passive/active voice mixing, and 'where i had to pack parcel' lacks pluralisation. Tense consistency is a major issue throughout the letter, shifting awkwardly between past, present, and continuous forms (e.g., 'i am working... where i had', 'my mentor was arrange'). Frequent grammatical errors cause difficulty for the reader and obscure the intended meaning, placing this performance at Band 4.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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