Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.
Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter
give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience
explain what help you hope your mentor can give
suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear....... ,
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Dear Mr.Shareef,
I am Priya, a new joinee BL-120 in your department taking the role of traffic coordinator.I was informed that you are assigned as my mentor and will walk me through the project updates and also provide me the advice for future endeavours. I am writing this letter to give you an outline for a quick understanding of my background and my work.
I did my bachelors in supply chain management and my masters in procurement management.And I worked as a traffic clearence agent for 5 years in one of the well estbalished companies.During my role as traffic clearence agent I worked on various projects such as Air, Land and ocean clearances along with the customized contracts providing a well designed excel report with financial details.I heard a lot about your working style and your achievements.I would really appreciate if you train me on different aspects of traffic systems and software engines we use.
And I would also like to schedule a in-person meeting with you tomorrow which is 25 September at 10:00 am in erin mills board room where we can discuss the work culture and projects we have on hand.
wishing to you see you soon.
Yours sincerely,
Priya.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
The response successfully covers all bullet points required by the task prompt. You effectively gave a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience, mentioning your bachelors and masters degrees as well as your five years of experience as a traffic clearance agent. You also clearly explained the help you hope to receive, stating that you would like your mentor to train you on traffic systems and software engines. Furthermore, you suggested arrangements for a first meeting by proposing an in-person meeting tomorrow at 10:00 am in the boardroom. The register is appropriately semi-formal for a workplace letter, and the tone remains professional throughout. The purpose of the letter is entirely clear from the opening lines, and all ideas are fully relevant to the workplace context, demonstrating a solid performance in Task Achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The letter maintains a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. You begin with an appropriate salutation and clear opening statement regarding your role, then transition logically into your background, expectations for mentorship, and finally your meeting proposal. Paragraphing is used adequately to separate your personal introduction, your professional background and training requests, and your meeting logistics. However, cohesion could be improved by avoiding slight mechanical linking and punctuation issues, such as the missing spaces after periods in sentences like 'coordinator.I was informed' and 'experience.And I worked'. Using a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally would elevate this score further, but the overall progression of ideas is easy to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using industry-specific terms such as 'supply chain management', 'procurement management', 'traffic clearance agent', and 'customized contracts'. There are some successful attempts at less common lexical items, but also some noticeable spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'joinee' instead of 'new employee', 'clearence' instead of 'clearance', and 'estbalished' instead of 'established'. While these minor lexical and spelling errors do not impede communication, they prevent the response from achieving a higher band. To improve, ensure careful proofreading for common spelling mistakes and strive for more natural collocations when describing professional duties.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, successfully incorporating relative clauses and subordinate structures, such as 'I heard a lot about your working style and your achievements' and 'where we can discuss the work culture and projects we have on hand.' There are, however, several grammatical and punctuation errors present. For instance, there are spacing issues after punctuation marks ('coordinator.I', 'experience.And'), articles are occasionally missing or misused ('schedule a in-person meeting' instead of 'an in-person meeting'), and some phrasing is slightly awkward, such as 'wishing to you see you soon.' Despite these errors, the majority of your sentences are clear, and they rarely impede the reader's understanding of your message.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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