Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir,

My name is Vidhi Patel. Recently, I have joined Indusind Bank as an ASDM. I had completed my master degree in finance from Gujarat Technological University last year 2023. I have 3 year experience of accounting. Moreover, I have 6 months of experience in customer service representative at Kocher Telecommunications.

After my post-graduation this is my first dream job in bank. All the things new for me and I am eager to learn all the banking knowledge. I am excited for meet customers and help them to solve their queries. As a mentor, this is only done with your help. I want to learn from you is customer service, sales is as important as customer support so, I want to learn how to pitch product to customers? Also, all the CRM and Finacle tools which can help to get customers information and easier for daily tasks.

I want to arrange a meeting with you. So, we can discuss all this things and banking rules and regulations. Please let me know the best time for meeting.

Sincerely,

Vidhi Patel

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response successfully covers all the bullet points outlined in the task prompt. You addressed your previous studies and work experience by mentioning your master's degree in finance from Gujarat Technological University and your three years of accounting experience. You explained the help you hope to receive, such as learning about customer service, product pitching, and how to use tools like CRM and Finacle. Furthermore, you suggested arrangements for your first meeting by asking the mentor for the best time. The tone is generally appropriate for a professional introduction to a colleague. Although the greeting 'Dear Sir,' is a bit formal given that you know the mentor's details were provided, the letter fulfills all communicative requirements effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter is organised into logical paragraphs, each serving a distinct purpose: introduction and background, expectations from the mentor, and meeting arrangements. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Moreover' and 'Also', though some transitions feel slightly mechanical. For instance, the transition in the second paragraph 'As a mentor, this is only done with your help' is a bit awkward and unclear in its referencing. Additionally, the second paragraph is quite dense and combines multiple ideas that could have been broken down further. However, the overall progression of information flows reasonably well from past experience to future expectations and finally to action steps.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for a workplace context, including terms like 'post-graduation', 'customer service representative', and 'banking rules and regulations'. However, there are some noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'Recently, I have joined' (better as 'I recently joined'), 'I had completed my master degree' (should be 'master's degree'), and 'experience of accounting' (should be 'experience in accounting'). Phrases like 'All the things new for me' are overly simplistic and detract from the professional register. While you attempt some specific banking vocabulary like 'CRM' and 'Finacle tools', recurring vocabulary inaccuracies prevent the score from reaching a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'Moreover, I have 6 months of experience in customer service representative at Kocher Telecommunications.' There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, including tense usage ('Recently, I have joined' instead of past simple 'I joined', and 'I had completed' instead of 'I completed') and prepositions ('experience in' instead of 'experience of'). Punctuation and sentence structures occasionally impede flow, such as run-on sentences in the second paragraph: 'I want to learn from you is customer service, sales is as important as customer support so, I want to learn how to pitch product to customers?'. These persistent errors indicate a solid Band 6 level of control.

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