Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir,

I am writing to formally express my concern regarding to introduce myself to you, as i am a newcomer in your company. I was hired under the survillance of Mr.Junaid on October 4th and officially my joining was held on October 6th.

Regarding the first point, i would like to tell you that I have done Master's of Business Administration from the LUMS University and was graduated on 21st November 2021. Later on I did internship in State Bank of Pakistan and that intership leads me towards the permanent job, because of my quick learning and punctuality. And currently i am working as an Administration officer in the same bank.

As per your help is concern, i would like to say that i have learned alot in my previous career related to administration but i know very less about the accounting and during the interview i came to know that our company required a person having a more grip on accounting. And i look forward to your keen help in this matter as you already have a great experience in this feild.

Finally, concerning the resolution to this matter, I think we can have a meeting on the coming saturday at 5pm in the Pearl Cafe. I also expect your assurance to guide in properly according to the company's terms and conditions, and I look forward to your prompt response.

Yours faithfully,

Sharoz

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully covers all the bullet points outlined in the prompt, making it largely effective for a General Training Task 1 letter. You have successfully introduced yourself, provided a brief outline of your previous studies (e.g., 'Master's of Business Administration from the LUMS University') and your work experience at the State Bank of Pakistan. Furthermore, you explained the help you hope your mentor can give regarding accounting skills, and you suggested clear arrangements for a first meeting ('on the coming saturday at 5pm in the Pearl Cafe'). However, the tone of the opening sentence is slightly confused and inappropriate for a friendly workplace mentor introduction, as you wrote 'formally express my concern regarding to introduce myself'. This lapses into complaint-style letter language rather than a warm introductory tone. Overall, all parts are addressed, placing this comfortably in the Band 6.5 to 7.0 range.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter is logically organised into clear paragraphs, each handling a distinct part of the task prompt. Introduction, studies and experience, mentoring expectations, and meeting arrangements are all given their own paragraphs. However, Coherence and Cohesion is dragged down by inappropriate referencing and cohesive choices. For example, using phrases like 'Regarding the first point' and 'Finally, concerning the resolution to this matter' feels far too rigid, robotic, and unsuited to an informal or semi-formal internal colleague introduction. Additionally, pronoun reference is occasionally confusing, such as 'that intership leads me'. While paragraphing is used sufficiently, these heavy-handed transitional phrases limit fluidity and prevent the text from achieving a higher band.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

Your vocabulary includes some appropriate general and business-related terms, such as 'Administration officer', 'internship', and 'punctuality'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors, awkward word choices, and typos throughout the response. You wrote 'survillance' instead of 'surveillance', 'feild' instead of 'field', and 'alot' instead of 'a lot'. Furthermore, collocation and phrasing issues appear in sentences like 'company required a person having a more grip on accounting' and 'keen help in this matter'. These inaccuracies demonstrate an adequate range for the task, but they occasionally impede natural expression and restrict the score to a Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The text displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including relative clauses and subordinate clauses (e.g., 'because of my quick learning and punctuality' and 'as you already have a great experience in this feild'). However, there are persistent grammatical errors and punctuation issues. You used lowercase 'i' on multiple occasions ('as i am', 'i would like'). There are also structural errors like 'As per your help is concern' (should be 'As far as your help is concerned') and 'was graduated' (usually active 'graduated'). Commas are sometimes misused or omitted, leading to run-on structures. Because errors are frequent enough to draw attention, the writing falls into the Band 5.5 to 6.0 category.

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