Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Gerald,

Trust this meets you well. My name is Nwamaka and i am a new employee here at Renmoney Microfinance bank located at 23, Awolowo road, Ikoyi, Lagos, Nigeria.

To begin with, I schooled at Rome Business school, Ikeja where i graduated with a distinction in marketing and sales. I have also worked with carbon, a fintech company located on the island. My Job at Carbon includes selling and upselling the company's products to Client. I negotiated with clients and made they sure they got the best deals while also closing sales as i had a monthly target of 50million.

I am expecting to do better here at Renmoney and i would like that you assist with suggestions on sale trainings that i could engage in to further enhance my sales for career Progression. I am also available to take courses on emotional intelligence as this would aid my relationship with my colleagues and my clients.

Furthermore, i would like that the schedule be changed to hybrid rather than the current one where everyone has to come to the office everyday. An hybrid schedule would help with work life balance and this would also help to increase productivity.

I am available for a physical meeting to further discuss this. I could also set up a zoom meeting as well if that's what's preferable with you.

I look forward to hearing from you

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all three parts of the prompt, successfully introducing yourself to your mentor, outlining your background, explaining the help you hope to receive, and suggesting arrangements for a first meeting. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While your background and the request for sales training are relevant and clear, your fourth paragraph requests a change to a hybrid work schedule. This is an inappropriate request to make to a new mentor in an introductory letter, as mentors typically offer support rather than administrative policy changes. This misunderstanding of the mentor's role means the task is only partially fulfilled in terms of appropriateness, placing this aspect in the middle band range.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter maintains a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical letter structure, moving from a polite greeting and personal introduction to background details, expectations of the mentor, and finally meeting arrangements. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate distinct topics. Cohesive devices are generally present, such as transitional phrases like 'To begin with' and 'Furthermore'. However, referencing and cohesion are occasionally mechanical or slightly faulty, such as the abrupt shift between paragraphs and minor lapses in logical progression regarding the workplace policy request. To reach a higher band, the logical flow between paragraphs would need to be smoother and more natural without relying on heavy transitional markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

An adequate range of vocabulary is used for the task, with appropriate business and workplace terms such as 'microfinance bank', 'fintech company', and 'career progression'. There are some successful attempts to use less common vocabulary, but this is accompanied by minor word-choice and punctuation/capitalization errors, such as 'Client' instead of 'clients' and lower-casing 'i' in the body paragraphs. Spelling is generally accurate, and the lexical errors do not impede communication, allowing the reader to easily follow your meaning. To improve further, a wider variety of precise phrasing and completely accurate word forms are needed.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms attempted throughout the letter, such as 'I negotiated with clients and made they sure they got the best deals while also closing sales'. Some errors in grammar and punctuation are present, such as capitalization issues ('i am', 'An hybrid schedule'), minor phrasing slips ('made they sure'), and prepositions. However, these errors are relatively infrequent and rarely impede communication, allowing the intended message to remain clear. The presence of these structural slips alongside a functional mix of simple and complex sentences places this aspect firmly in the middle performance range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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