Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear Mam,

i am writing thios letter regarding to hire a new mentor who is well experienced to develop my knowledge in career fild.

Actually, my name is harpreet i done is high school ion 2019 after that i am qualified with bachelor of artsmoreover after comleting my study i decided to apply for a job in ,motel as a front desk officer in new brunswick.

actually there is opne difficulty which i faced a lot in my work that es i feel uncomfortable while talking with guests in simple words i feel hesitation and lack of confidence in me.

if iit is possible can we fix the meeting on weekend becouse i am very busy in weekdays. i will give u the time and address of meeting destiny.

i will looking forward your prompt response.

Your obediently,

Harpreet Kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the task only partially and fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, coming in at 140 words. While the letter attempts to cover the required bullet points, the information provided is limited and under-developed. For instance, the outline of previous studies and work experience is brief and slightly confused, stating "i am writing thios letter regarding to hire a new mentor" which misunderstands the role since the mentor was assigned rather than hired. The explanation of desired help focuses on overcoming hesitation when talking with guests, and a weekend meeting is suggested. However, the overall purpose and tone are affected by the minimal development of ideas, placing this criterion at the specified band level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation in the letter, but it lacks a clear overall progression. The response is divided into several short paragraphs, but referencing and logical links between sentences are frequently faulty or mechanical, such as the repeated use of connectors like "actually" or the sudden shifts between ideas without smooth transitions. Paragraphing is attempted, but paragraph breaks are erratic and inconsistent, leading to a disjointed flow for the reader. While the letter opens with a salutation and closes with a sign-off, the internal cohesion remains inadequate and repetitive, which keeps the response at this level.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and basic, featuring noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word form that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. Examples of spelling and typographical errors include "thios", "fild", "comleting", "motel" with an intrusive comma, "opne", and "becouse". Word choices are also inaccurate in places, such as saying "regarding to hire a new mentor" instead of acknowledging the assigned mentor, and using "destiny" instead of destination or location. The lexical range is minimally adequate for communicating basic personal information, but frequent lexical inaccuracies prevent it from reaching a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The writer uses a very limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent grammatical errors. Attempts at complex or compound structures are often faulty, such as run-on sentences lacking proper punctuation (e.g., "actually, my name is harpreet i done is high school ion 2019 after that i am qualified with bachelor of artsmoreover after comleting my study..."). There are frequent errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, capitalization (starting sentences and proper nouns with lowercase letters like "i"), and prepositions. These errors are persistent throughout the text and cause noticeable difficulty and distraction for the reader, which aligns with the assigned band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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