Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter as I am very much impressed with one of my colleague who worked with me in my past job. I have done my Electronics Engineering course in 2020 and then I worked for Bryka International as sales enginner.

Since i was a fresher so i was been supporting my senior Mr. Darpan Sejpal by doing some quotes, cold calling, talking to customers regarding deliveries and so on. Mr Sejpal is true gentlemen and he guided me throughout all the process and nver spoke to me with loud voice instead he always motiovated me whenever I did any errors during my work.

This nature of him was highly appreciated in both professional as well personal ways. In one of my assignments as working on first custoemr individually i was stuck and needed his immediate attention and therefore I requested himi to arrange a first meeting together with him and my customer which he respectfully agreed.

At the end everything went well and I was thankful to Mr. Sejpal was his extra ordinary support.

Regards,

Kirti

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response addresses the task only partially and struggles significantly with the core prompt. Instead of introducing yourself to your new mentor by outlining your current background, explaining what help you hope to receive, and suggesting arrangements for a first meeting, the text largely shifts focus into reminiscing about a previous colleague, Mr. Darpan Sejpal, from a past job. While there is a brief mention of graduating in Electronics Engineering in 2020 and working in sales, the bullet points required by the task are severely underdeveloped or misdirected. For instance, instead of explaining what help you hope your current mentor can give, you describe past assistance received from someone else. Similarly, the suggestion for a first meeting is framed as a past event with a customer rather than scheduling an upcoming meeting with the new mentor. To improve, you must ensure that all parts of the prompt are directly answered in the correct context.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some basic organization within the letter format, starting with a salutation and closing with a sign-off, but the text lacks a clear overall progression. The movement between ideas is disjointed because the narrative jumps confusingly between past experiences with a former colleague and the present situation with the new mentor. Paragraphing is attempted, but paragraph breaks do not always align with logical shifts in topic. Cohesive devices are basic and sometimes inaccurate, such as the abrupt use of transitional phrases or repetitive linking words. Referencing is also unclear at times, making it difficult for the reader to follow whether you are discussing your past job or your current workplace expectations. To achieve higher bands, you need to structure your paragraphs around the specific requirements of the prompt and use logical cohesive ties to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey basic meaning, sitting at a level where noticeable errors frequently occur. There are several word choice and spelling inaccuracies, such as 'enginner' instead of engineer, 'gentlemen' instead of gentleman, 'motiovated' instead of motivated, 'cutoemr' instead of customer, and 'himi' instead of him. Additionally, collocation and phrasing are sometimes unnatural, as seen in phrases like 'doing some quotes' or 'This nature of him was highly appreciated'. While you attempt some less common vocabulary items, errors in spelling and word form occasionally cause difficulty and strain for the reader. To improve your lexical score, you should expand your range of workplace vocabulary, pay closer attention to word formation, and carefully check your spelling before finishing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The grammatical structures used are relatively limited, relying heavily on simple and basic complex sentences that frequently contain errors. There are frequent issues with verb tenses, articles, prepositions, and clause structures that can cause difficulty for the reader, such as 'Since i was a fresher so i was been supporting' and 'Mr. Sejpal was his extra ordinary support'. Punctuation is also problematic, with missing capitalisation on pronouns and erratic comma usage. Attempts at complex sentences tend to be faulty, leading to run-on constructions and awkward phrasing. To reach the next level, you need to demonstrate a greater variety of error-free sentence structures, maintain consistent verb tenses when narrating past events, and improve your control over basic grammatical agreements and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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