Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Miss Jen,

I hope you are doing well.

I am the new technician here in Dermatology department and you are the assigned mentor to guide and support me until I familiarize all the treatments and procedures in our area. I’ve been working on laser treatments for 6 years in my old company, however facial procedures are new to me and no hands on experience although I have some background like different use of each treatments.

I need from your side to help me demonstrate the proper steps of hydrafacial and other facial procedures we usually do in our department. Additionally, I want to learn the proper techniques and exact uses of each product for me to avoid some mistakes and for the safety of clients skin. Moreover, some machines are new to my knowledge, so I need to know all the uses of each hand piece of the machine.

I wish to meet you tomorrow during our vacant time around 2 o’clock in the afternoon until 3 o’clock if it is suitable on your time. If not, please provide me available time so we can arrange it.

Thank you for your kind consideration.

Yours faithfully,

Jessica

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You successfully address all three bullet points required in the task, making your purpose clear from the beginning. You introduce yourself as a new technician in the Dermatology department, explain your background with laser treatments, outline what assistance you need regarding facials and machinery, and propose a specific time for your first meeting. However, some parts are more fully developed than others. While your specific training needs and meeting arrangements are detailed and well-explained, your outline of previous work experience and studies is somewhat brief. To move towards a higher band, you could expand more fully on your previous studies and employment background, providing richer context for how your past skills connect to your new role.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

Your letter demonstrates a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. You make effective use of paragraphing, with each paragraph dedicated to a distinct topic: introduction and background in the first, specific training needs in the second, and meeting arrangements in the third. You use cohesive devices reasonably well, such as 'Additionally', 'Moreover', and 'If not', which help guide the reader smoothly through your thoughts. Referencing is generally clear, and the overall arrangement is coherent. To achieve an even higher level of cohesion, you could work on employing a wider variety of advanced cohesive links and ensuring that transitions between sentences feel completely natural and unobtrusive rather than occasionally mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary suited to the workplace context, successfully attempting less common terms such as 'Dermatology department', 'hands on experience', and 'hand piece'. Your vocabulary choice is generally sufficient to convey your meaning clearly. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as writing 'familiarize all the treatments' instead of becoming familiar with them, and 'vacant time' instead of free time or availability. Additionally, spelling and word form errors, like 'clients skin' missing an apostrophe, occur occasionally. These minor slips do not impede communication, but to reach a higher band, you should aim for greater precision in collocations and eliminate minor mechanical errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You display a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating control over standard structures such as conditional sentences and compound clauses. There are several error-free sentences, and your meaning remains clear throughout. Nevertheless, some grammatical errors and awkward prepositions persist, such as 'working on laser treatments for 6 years in my old company', 'background like different use', and 'suitable on your time' instead of suitable for you. Punctuation is generally acceptable, though occasional missing articles or prepositions affect fluency. To improve your grammatical range and accuracy, focus on refining prepositional phrases, mastering article usage, and polishing complex sentence patterns to ensure higher grammatical control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.