Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear mentor,

I hope you are well. As a new employee of your workplace. I am writing a letter to give brief information on my previous studies and work experience. As I have completed my studies in Computer science department in cyber security program in 2024 and I started my job in well known company name mobi care in which I usually work in software department to check the cyber security of data for 2 years.

According to me making hope is a big thing but for my help in work field if mentor can help in providing information for project or by help some work which I feel very difficult to solve.

Moreover, I like to arrange a meeting with you for more discussion for my working project in office at evening time after the lunch break because it is my first meeting in my life.

I look forward to your comments on this matter.

Yours sincerely,

oliv

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your response addresses all parts of the prompt, as you successfully introduce yourself, provide a brief outline of your studies and work experience, explain what help you hope to receive, and suggest arrangements for a first meeting. However, some parts of your response are under-developed or lack clarity. For instance, your explanation of your previous studies, such as completing your 'studies in Computer science department in cyber security program', is a bit repetitive, and your suggestion for a first meeting ('at evening time after the lunch break') contains confusing details that hinder clarity. To reach a higher level, you need to extend your ideas more fully and ensure all details are clearly expressed and logically integrated into the letter.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

Your letter has a coherent overall arrangement, with a clear beginning and ending, and you attempt to structure your ideas into separate paragraphs covering different aspects of the prompt. However, the cohesion between and within your sentences is sometimes mechanical or faulty. For example, expressions like 'According to me making hope is a big thing' and 'for my help in work field' feel awkward and disrupt the logical flow of your ideas. Furthermore, referencing is occasionally unclear, making it harder for the reader to follow your progression. To improve in this area, you should use a wider variety of accurate cohesive devices and ensure that your sentences transition smoothly from one point to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You demonstrate a limited but minimally adequate range of vocabulary for this task, successfully mentioning terms related to your profession such as 'Computer science', 'cyber security', and 'software department'. However, your vocabulary choice is restricted, and there are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word form that cause some difficulty for the reader. Phrases such as 'making hope is a big thing', 'well known company name mobi care', and referring to 'evening time after the lunch break' demonstrate unnatural collocations and misuse of terms. Additionally, there are minor punctuation and capitalization issues with proper nouns. To achieve a higher band, you need to expand your lexical range and use less common vocabulary more precisely and naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on basic patterns with some attempts at more complex sentences, such as 'As I have completed my studies... and I started my job...'. These attempts at complex sentences are often faulty, featuring run-on structures and missing punctuation. You also make frequent errors in grammar, including missing articles ('As a new employee of your workplace' instead of 'at your workplace'), incorrect preposition usage ('studies in Computer science department'), and tense inconsistencies. These frequent errors can cause some difficulty and strain for the reader. To improve, you need to demonstrate better control over complex sentence patterns and improve your grammatical accuracy, particularly regarding articles, prepositions, and sentence boundaries.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.