Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear Mr. Ahmad,

Hope so this letter finds you well. My name is Aqsa,and I recently joined your company as a junior pharmacist. I understand that you have been assigned my mentorship duties, and i would be delightful to learn from you.

To introduce myself, I have done my pharmacy degree from Punjab University in 2020. Since then, I had been working in retail pharacy, where I gain a practical knowledge of dispensing medicines, understanding of perscription and give an appropiate dose to the patients according to their perscription. Now I have joined your company and I hope this experience will also be good as previous one.

As I am not new in this field, so I would not need help i

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You begin appropriately and provide relevant background, including your pharmacy degree and retail experience. However, the response does not complete the task: the request for help is only introduced in “I would not need help i…” and there is no suggestion for a first meeting. The letter therefore addresses the required points only partially, and its purpose is left unclear. The response is also 28 words below the required minimum, which contributes to the lack of development. To improve, finish the explanation of what guidance you want—for example, support with company procedures or career development—and propose a specific time and place to meet. Develop each point sufficiently before closing the letter.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The letter has a recognisable opening and a sensible sequence: you introduce yourself, then describe your education and work history. Paragraphing helps distinguish these stages, and phrases such as “To introduce myself” signal the next topic. However, the response stops abruptly during the paragraph about the help you need, so there is no clear progression to meeting arrangements or a closing. Some links are also awkward or repetitive, as in “As I am not new in this field, so…”. Use a complete paragraph for each task point and connect them with straightforward transitions. A finished ending and a clear sequence from background to support needs to meeting plans would make the organisation more effective.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant workplace and pharmacy vocabulary, including “junior pharmacist,” “dispensing medicines,” and “retail,” which makes your background understandable. There is some range in describing your studies and practical duties, but several spelling and word-choice errors reduce accuracy: “pharacy,” “perscription,” “appropiate,” and “mentorship duties.” The phrase “understanding of prescription” is also not a natural collocation in this context. Aim to check spelling carefully and choose precise professional expressions, such as “interpreting prescriptions” and “providing the appropriate dosage.” The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the basic information, but more accurate collocations and a wider range for describing your goals would strengthen the letter.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, for example, “Since then, I had been working in retail pharmacy, where…” This shows an effort to explain a sequence of experience, but tense and sentence-pattern errors are frequent enough to affect fluency. In “I have done my pharmacy degree,” the present perfect is not the natural form for a completed qualification with a stated year; use “I completed my pharmacy degree in 2020.” The construction “As I am not new in this field, so…” incorrectly combines two linking patterns, and “I would be delightful” uses the wrong grammatical form. Also check capitalisation of “I” and punctuation around commas. Practise accurate past-tense descriptions and complete sentence structures.

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