Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

I hope you are doing well.

I am writing to inform you that my name is harpreet as i am new to workplace. i am from india as i moved to canada for further studies. apart from that, as i passed from 12th grades, with arts stream, then i got admission in a culnery school, from where i got my 2 year experience in the culnery arts. adding to this, i love to make all the bakery items as cakes, pasteries, cookies, mini cakes, brownies etcetera.after that, i enhance my experience by working in a bakery wherei got best baker certificate. now, i am very excited to work at this company as a senior baker. however, i am new here, i need to become usual to this lovely place, so i am expecting your full support with me, so that i will learnnew statergies from you and become a good worker.

moving further, i am very excited to learn new ways tricks and tips from you. therefore, i want to meet you to discuss some questions about my duties with you, i am avaible on any day except sunday, so please infrom me when can i do have a great time to see you and learn from you.

thank you so much, waiting for your reply.

harpreet

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three requested points: you outline your education and bakery experience, explain that you hope to learn strategies and receive support, and propose meeting on any day except Sunday. The details about culinary school and your baker certificate make the introduction relevant and personal. However, the help you want is described rather generally; for example, “full support” and “learn new strategies” could be made more specific by naming areas such as workplace procedures, team communication, or developing your baking skills. The meeting arrangement is also incomplete because you do not suggest a time or place, instead asking the mentor to tell you when to meet. Developing these points more fully would make the letter more complete and purposeful.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a broadly clear progression: you introduce your background, move to the support you hope to receive, and finish by proposing a meeting and thanking the mentor. Paragraphing helps distinguish these stages. Some linking expressions, including “apart from that,” “adding to this,” and “moving further,” feel mechanical or do not clearly show the relationship between ideas. The long first paragraph also combines several stages of your education and work history, making the progression harder to follow. Use simpler, more precise transitions and separate the background from your expectations. A clearer closing arrangement—for example, proposing a specific day and time—would also help the final paragraph feel more complete.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to your background and role, including “culinary arts,” “bakery,” “senior baker,” and “certificate,” and the reader can understand your main message. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, including “culnery,” “pasteries,” “statergies,” and “avaible.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise: “become usual to this lovely place” and “learn new ways tricks and tips” do not communicate your meaning smoothly. Aim for accurate spelling and natural workplace collocations, such as becoming familiar with the workplace and learning procedures. This would make your vocabulary more precise and reduce the effort required to understand some phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and the overall meaning is generally understandable. Some grammatical errors occur in sentence boundaries, verb forms, articles, and punctuation. For example, “as i am new to workplace” needs a clearer clause and an article, while “wherei got” runs words together and “i am expecting your full support with me” has an awkward grammatical construction. The sentence beginning “apart from that, as i passed…” is difficult to follow because several clauses are joined without clear structure. Practise separating related ideas into complete sentences and checking articles, capitalisation, and clause connections. More controlled complex sentences would improve accuracy while preserving the detail in your letter.

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