Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to give you a breif introduction about myself. I am Harpreet Singh and I have completed my bachelors in Computer science from Gandhi University in 2022. I got several responsibilities in my student journey , for instance, I got selected as a Head boy of the college in 2020 and was responsilble to organise events and fests.

After my graduation, I have joined an IT company where I assigned a designation of Data analyst. My key responsibilites involved analysing data, extracting key insights to help company to take effective decisions.

I have recently got an email which says that you will be my mentor in this new company. I hope that you will help me to understand the work culture and professional environment of this company. Furthermore, I also expect that you will provide your assistance and support to solve the serious problems during my work.

I suggest that we should arrange our meeting in a friendly way to get know each other better and other collegues of the company. I assure that il will definityly help to bolster our relations.

Kind regards,

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy6.0
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three requested points: you outline your computer science degree and college leadership, describe your data analyst role, explain that you want help understanding the workplace, and propose meeting socially. These details make the letter relevant and give the mentor a useful introduction. However, some parts are less fully developed than others. The support you hope to receive is expressed broadly as help with “work culture” and “serious problems,” without identifying a specific skill or career goal. The meeting suggestion is also vague: “in a friendly way” does not say when or where you could meet. Add a concrete proposal, such as meeting for coffee after work, and specify one or two areas where guidance would be valuable.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a clear overall arrangement: your background comes first, followed by your expectations of the mentor and a meeting suggestion. Paragraphing supports this progression, and phrases such as “After my graduation” and “Furthermore” help signal relationships between ideas. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some of the flexibility associated with stronger cohesion. However, the linking can feel formulaic, and the final paragraph combines the meeting proposal with an unclear claim about strengthening the relationship. The reference to “other colleagues” also appears without explaining how they relate to the first meeting. Make the proposal a direct, connected invitation and use transitions only where they clarify the progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the purpose, including relevant workplace terms such as “Data analyst,” “analysing data,” “key insights,” and “professional environment.” These help communicate your background and expectations. You also attempt more formal expressions, including “provide your assistance” and “bolster our relations,” though the latter sounds unnatural in this context and some word choices or spellings are inaccurate. Examples include “breif,” “responsibilites,” and “definityly,” as well as “give you a brief introduction about myself,” where “introduce myself” is more natural. These errors do not prevent understanding, but proofreading spelling and choosing more natural collocations would make your vocabulary more precise and fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more developed sentence forms, and the main message remains clear. For example, the sentence beginning “I hope that you will help me…” combines a main clause with a subordinate clause, while the description of your responsibilities adds detail. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in verb forms and sentence construction: “I have joined an IT company where I assigned a designation” needs a passive form such as “where I was assigned the role of data analyst,” and “to get know each other” needs “to get to know each other.” There are also issues with articles and punctuation, such as “from Gandhi University” and spacing before commas. Review these patterns and proofread sentence boundaries and punctuation to improve accuracy.

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