Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir,

I hope you are doing great. Myself krishnkant sharma the new joinee in your team. I am writting this letter to introduce myself and check for your avialability for upcoming week for arranging an introductory meeting for us.

Firstly, I would like to introduce myself, I belong from finance background and I have earned master degree in finance from well-known college i.e "Mohawk college". Futhermore, I have worked for CIBC Bank at upper James, Hamilton for previous 5 years at various positions. I gained the experience in both Front-end and Back-end of banking industry and also very much aware about recent upgradation and modification in the banking industry. I have worked under multi-cultural team and also lead the automation of the banking process from the mannual work, which helped the company to bring the Trun out time from 16 hour to 2 hours for processing a single request.

Secondly, I am new to the business analyst department and i have been informed that you the most senior and experienced employee in the entire team. I would like to learn more about the role of artificial intelligence in the business analyst sector and also want to learn can we utilize the same information and tools for achieving our target in banking sectors.

Thirdly, I would like to schedule a one to one meeting with you, hence it will be really helpful if can let me about the available timing or slot to arrange a meeting according to your connvience.

I hereby look forward for your positive revert and also exiticed for my first assignment from you.

Best Regards,

Krishnkant Sharma.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three requested points: you outline your finance degree and five years at CIBC, explain that you want guidance on AI in business analysis, and ask about arranging a one-to-one meeting. The work history is particularly informative, with the automation example giving useful context about your experience. This meets the task well, but some parts are less fully developed: your hoped-for support is mainly framed as learning about AI, rather than describing broader mentoring needs such as settling into the department or developing in the role. The meeting request also asks generally for availability without proposing a specific day, time, or format. Adding those details would make the letter more complete and purposeful.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The letter has a clear overall progression: you introduce yourself, describe your background, explain what you hope to learn, and then request a meeting. Paragraph breaks help distinguish these purposes, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Thirdly” make the sequence easy to follow. The progression is logical, though the repeated numbered transitions make the letter feel somewhat formulaic rather than naturally conversational. Some links between ideas could also be smoother; for example, the move from your banking experience to your interest in AI could explain how your previous work connects to the new analyst role. A more natural opening and closing, with clearer links between paragraphs, would strengthen the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant workplace and finance vocabulary, including “business analyst department,” “automation,” and “multi-cultural team,” and the reader can understand your main points. However, spelling errors and awkward word combinations are noticeable, including “writting,” “avialability,” “mannual,” “Trun out time,” and “positive revert.” Some expressions are also imprecise or unsuitable for a professional letter, such as “new joinee” and “I belong from finance background.” These choices limit the naturalness and precision of the message, even though its meaning is generally recoverable. Proofreading spelling and learning common professional collocations would help you express your experience and requests more accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including the sentence describing how automation reduced processing time. The overall meaning is usually clear, but errors in sentence construction, articles, and verb patterns recur. For example, “Myself krishnkant sharma the new joinee” is a fragment, while “I belong from finance background” and “I would like to learn can we utilize” use incorrect grammatical patterns. In “if can let me about the available timing,” the subject and object structure are incomplete. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent. Aim to build accurate complete sentences first, then use complex clauses selectively; careful editing for articles, subjects, and verb patterns would improve control.

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