Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Christine,

My name is Arjun, I am pupil of York University I have getting A + on all the subjects of my course in last semester Now I am looking for an Cybersecurity Analyst internship in my field consequently I talked to my CA, he told me about you and gave me your reference due to this I want your suggestions on how can I apply for this job, make the resume, what are new certificates I can get in free time to improve my skills , increase the points on my CV and what are precausions should I take.

In addition to this, I hope we meet at coffee shop for chatting or online zoom meeting is also fine for me whenever you are free just tell I am available

I also hope you can give me reply for my letter as soon as possible

Thank you,

Arjun Patel

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The letter is relevant and covers the main purposes: you introduce yourself, explain that you are seeking career guidance, and suggest meeting either at a coffee shop or online. Your requests for advice about applying, preparing a résumé, and gaining certificates give the mentor a clear sense of the support you want. However, the required outline of your previous studies and work experience is not really provided: being a York University student and mentioning recent grades gives only limited information, and no past work experience is described. The meeting suggestion is also quite general, with no proposed day or time. Add a brief account of your course and any relevant experience, then offer a specific meeting option.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The message follows a broadly sensible order, moving from your introduction and reason for writing to the help you want and a possible meeting. This makes the overall purpose understandable. However, most of the content is compressed into one long opening paragraph, and several requests are joined in a single sentence, so the reader has to work to separate the ideas. Phrases such as “In addition to this” and “I also hope” provide some linking, but the connections are repetitive and sometimes mechanical. Use separate paragraphs for your background, mentoring requests, and meeting arrangements, and divide the list of questions into clearer sentences. This would make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main topic, including relevant terms such as “Cybersecurity Analyst,” “certificates,” “skills,” and “CV.” These show awareness of the professional context. However, some choices are inaccurate or unnatural, including “pupil” for a university student, “increase the points on my CV,” and “precausions.” The phrase “make the resume” is also less natural than a verb such as “prepare” or “improve.” These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your requests, but they limit precision and naturalness. Aim for standard workplace collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, ask how to strengthen your CV or which qualifications would be useful.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The letter attempts some longer structures, such as explaining how you heard about the mentor and listing the advice you hope to receive. However, sentence boundaries and basic grammatical forms are not consistently controlled. For example, “My name is Arjun, I am pupil of York University” joins two independent clauses with a comma and omits an article; “I have getting A +” has an incorrect verb form; and “how can I apply” needs indirect-question word order after “suggestions on.” The final paragraph also contains a run-on sequence of meeting arrangements and requests. Use full stops to separate ideas, check articles and verb forms, and practise indirect questions such as “how I can apply.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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