Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear mentor,

Hello, hope this letter finds you well in good health. I am writting this letter to give you some details about my education and work experiences that might help you to understands me and my profile..

To begin with, I hold a degree in business mamnagement from vancouver comunity college which provides me deep knowlwdge about the business marketing strategies about the ecomic growth and about digital marketing as well. Other than that a also did bacholors in arts from punjabi university punjab india with subjects as mathematics and ecomics. which give me a tight hold on numbers and also the comparative knowledge about the ecomoy of two countries as i studied ecomicics in canada as well.

moreover, if i talk about experieneces i worked as an accountant back home for two years.and here in canada i was the part of the research team during my internnship where i get chance to work in a college . collect data from them making presentations and holding projects.

i would like to meet you in the coffee shop of our company where we can discuss more about my experienece and experties and i woulld love to get your feedback and advice to improve myself to be a asset for the company.

I would look forward to hearing from you soon

your faithfully

naveeta.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You cover the main purpose of the letter and include relevant details about both your education and experience, such as your business management degree, accounting work, and research internship. You also express a wish to receive feedback and suggest meeting at the company coffee shop. However, the help you hope to receive is only broadly described as advice to “improve myself”; specify areas where you want guidance, such as adapting to the company’s procedures or developing your marketing skills. The meeting proposal would be more complete if you suggested a day or time and asked whether it suits your mentor. These details would make the response more fully developed and ensure each part of the task is addressed clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a generally understandable sequence: you introduce your background, describe your experience, and then move to the meeting proposal. Paragraphing helps separate these topics, and phrases such as “To begin with” and “moreover” signal transitions. However, the progression is sometimes weakened by long, crowded sentences and unclear links between ideas—for example, the sentence about your degrees combines several subjects and benefits without clear separation. The opening paragraph also repeats the purpose of giving details before the information begins. Use shorter sentences, organise each qualification or experience into a clear point, and connect the request for mentoring directly to your career goals. This would make the cohesion less mechanical and the relationships between ideas clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the context, including “business marketing strategies,” “research team,” “presentations,” and “feedback and advice.” These choices help communicate your background and intentions. However, the range is limited in places, and several spelling and word-choice errors make the letter less clear or professional, including “mamnagement,” “ecomic growth,” “experties,” and “a asset.” Some phrases are also imprecise, such as “a tight hold on numbers” and “discuss more about my experience.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. More specific language about the support you seek—for example, guidance on workplace expectations or career development—would also make your vocabulary more precise for this formal workplace letter.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, and the reader can usually understand the main message. However, errors occur frequently in verb forms, articles, sentence boundaries, and agreement. For example, “help you to understands me” should use the base form “understand,” while “which give me” needs agreement with the preceding qualification. The sentence beginning “Other than that a also did…” is incomplete and contains a faulty structure, and several ideas are joined with full stops or commas inappropriately. The closing “I would look forward” also does not fit the intended future meaning as naturally as “I look forward.” Practise building complete sentences with one main idea, then check verb forms, articles, and punctuation.

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