Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear Mr Michael,

I hope you are doing great. I am writing to introduce myself and want to share my journey since the hospital has assigned you my mentor.

I will you my brief introduction. I recently joined this hospital as a medical officer in general ward. I completed my Medical degree from Akhtar Saeed Medcial College in 2019. After that I joined chenab hospital as inchrage medical officer. I learned number of medical procedures such as amputation, preparing patients for surgery and bed side patient care. I also attend electives in number of subjects.

Hospital management told me that you did speciality in plastic surgery. I am very much interested in this field. I am expecting that you will provide me training in this regard. As this new learning will benefits me in my future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You introduce yourself and provide relevant details about your medical degree and previous hospital role, and you explain your interest in plastic surgery and the training you hope to receive. However, the task is only partially addressed: the request for help is brief, and there is no suggestion at all for when or how to arrange a first meeting. The letter also ends without a closing, which makes it feel unfinished. The response is 136 words, below the required 150, so there is limited space to develop the missing points. Add a specific meeting proposal and explain more clearly what guidance you would value, such as advice on training pathways or observing procedures, to address every part of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The information is grouped into a basic sequence: an introduction, your background, and your interest in your mentor’s specialty. This gives the reader a general sense of your purpose. However, progression is incomplete because the letter stops after describing the help you want, without moving to the required meeting arrangements or a proper sign-off. Some links are also awkward or unclear, particularly “I am writing to introduce myself and want to share my journey since the hospital has assigned you my mentor” and “I will you my brief introduction.” Use clear paragraph purposes and straightforward transitions, then finish with a meeting proposal and closing. This would make the organisation more complete and reduce the impression of disconnected statements.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant workplace and medical vocabulary, including “medical officer,” “general ward,” “electives,” and “plastic surgery,” which helps communicate your background and interests. There are also attempts at more specific expressions such as “bed side patient care.” However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, including “Medcial,” “inchrage,” and “speciality,” and some phrases are unnatural or imprecise, such as “share my journey” and “provide me training.” These do not prevent the reader from understanding the main message, but they reduce accuracy and naturalness. Proofread specialist terms and choose conventional collocations, for example, “provide me with training” and “clinical experience,” to make the letter sound more professional.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple sentences and longer structures, and the main information is generally understandable. For example, “After that I joined chenab hospital as inchrage medical officer” communicates a sequence, while “As this new learning will benefits me in my future” attempts to explain a reason. However, sentence construction and verb forms are often inaccurate: “I will you my brief introduction” is incomplete, and “will benefits” uses the wrong verb form after “will.” The final “As” clause is also a fragment, and articles and sentence punctuation need more consistent control. Practise complete sentence patterns and check that each clause has a subject and finite verb; this will help you express your ideas more reliably.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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