Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir,

I hope you are doing well. I am extremely happy to have you as my mentor. My background is in commerce. I pursued a bachelor's degree in commerce from Delhi University, and later I migrated to Canada for further studies at Vancouver Community College, where I completed my Post-Graduate Diploma in Business & Project Management. I was also part of Bank of America at the Delhi headquarters, and my position was as a team member.

My major expectations from my mentor are: to guide me through challenging phases during the work. Provide me with substantial knowledge and facilitate me with all the corporate habits which need to be attained in my routine.

Moreover, I would appreciate it if I could get both positive and negative feedback from your experiences. Furthermore, all the tangible and intangible in and out of the company will be treated as a merit to me.

I would like to have a one-on-one conversation with you, sir, where we both can express our views, and I will be more comfortable conveying my message coherently. I believe we can meet at the play zone in the office, and the atmosphere over there will be ice-breaking for both of us.

Thanking You

Yours Faithfully

Rohit Bhardwaj

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three requested points: you outline your commerce studies and Bank of America experience, describe the guidance and feedback you hope to receive, and propose a first meeting. The background is specific, and the request for both positive and negative feedback gives the letter a personal purpose. However, the help you want is partly expressed in broad terms, such as “substantial knowledge” and “all the corporate habits”; naming a particular skill or workplace challenge would develop this more fully. The meeting suggestion is clear, but it would be more practical to offer a time or ask when your mentor is available. These details would make the response more complete and purposeful.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a coherent overall arrangement: it moves from your background to the support you seek and then to meeting arrangements. Paragraph breaks help distinguish these stages, and linking expressions such as “Moreover” and “Furthermore” make relationships between ideas visible. At times, however, the connections feel mechanical, and the second paragraph contains several ideas without a clear progression. For example, the request for guidance, corporate habits, feedback, and company knowledge could be grouped and ordered more deliberately. The closing also shifts abruptly from the meeting proposal to “Thanking You.” Use fewer formal linkers and make each paragraph’s central purpose clearer to improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range for a professional introduction, including terms such as “Post-Graduate Diploma,” “one-on-one conversation,” and “positive and negative feedback.” Some attempts at more formal or less common wording are not natural in context, however. “Facilitate me with all the corporate habits” and “all the tangible and intangible in and out of the company” are difficult to interpret, while “play zone” may not convey the intended meeting place clearly. These choices do not prevent the reader from understanding your main message, but they reduce precision and naturalness. Prefer straightforward workplace expressions, such as asking for help adapting to company practices or learning about the organisation’s culture and processes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, and several sentences are controlled, including “I pursued a bachelor's degree in commerce from Delhi University” and “I would like to have a one-on-one conversation with you.” Some grammatical and punctuation issues remain. “My major expectations … are: to guide me … . Provide me” breaks the sentence awkwardly; the second part should be joined to the first as a coordinated request. In “where we both can express our views,” the placement of “both” is less natural than “where we can both express our views.” Capitalisation in “Thanking You” and “Yours Faithfully” is also inconsistent with standard letter conventions. More careful sentence joining and proofreading would improve accuracy.

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