Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.
Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter
give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience
explain what help you hope your mentor can give
suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear....... ,
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Dear Mr. Smith.
I hope you are doing well. I am really glad to hear that you are my mentor at my job. I believe that I can learn several significant values related to work from you.
My name is Harpreet Kaur, and I have recently joined this company as a brand ambassador. I have completed my studies in a business course, and my majors were marketing and sales. I also have some experience in sales department at my previous enterprise.
I hope that as being my mentor you can teach me about how I can reach out the potential cutomers, and what qualities I require to improve my sales. I am also curious to learn about our company's work ethics and future endeavours.
I am really excited for our first meeting. I would really appreciated it if we could meet once, before my starting day of work. We can meet in a restaurant whenever you are free. Please let me know if that works for you.
I hope to see you soon.
Yours sincerely,
Harpreet Kaur.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
The letter addresses all three requested points and maintains a suitable, friendly tone for contacting a workplace mentor. You outline your business studies, with marketing and sales as your majors, and mention previous sales experience. You also explain that you want guidance on reaching potential customers, improving your sales skills, and understanding the company’s work culture. The meeting request is clear, and asking the mentor to suggest a convenient time helps make it practical. Some details could be developed more specifically: for example, you could say what kind of sales work you did previously or identify a particular skill you hope to build. The suggestion to meet before your first working day is also slightly unclear because you have already joined the company.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0
The information is arranged in a clear sequence: introduction, background, the support you hope to receive, and a proposed meeting. Separate paragraphs make the purpose of each section easy to follow, and phrases such as “I also” and “Please let me know if that works for you” connect ideas naturally. The letter has an appropriate opening and closing. To make the progression even smoother, link the meeting proposal more directly to the guidance you have requested—for instance, explain that you would like to discuss your goals during the meeting. There is also a small interruption in flow where two spaces appear before “I am also curious”; careful proofreading would keep the presentation polished.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is adequate for the purpose and includes relevant workplace terms such as “brand ambassador,” “marketing and sales,” “potential customers,” and “work ethics.” These choices make your background and learning goals understandable. However, some expressions are imprecise or unnatural, which limits flexibility and precision. “Significant values related to work” does not clearly express the practical knowledge you hope to gain, while “reach out the potential customers” uses an unsuitable collocation. There are also spelling and word-form slips, including “cutomers” and “endeavours” in a context where “future plans” may be clearer. Aim for natural professional phrases and check spelling carefully; this will make your message sound more fluent and confident.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and more developed sentence forms, and most of the message remains easy to understand. For example, “I have completed my studies in a business course, and my majors were marketing and sales” combines related information, while the conditional request “I would really appreciated it if we could meet” attempts a more complex structure. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in that request: after “would,” use the base form “appreciate.” The phrase “as being my mentor” is also structurally awkward; “as my mentor” is the appropriate pattern. In addition, “before my starting day of work” has an unclear grammatical construction. Practise accurate conditional requests and concise prepositional phrases, while continuing to vary sentence structures.
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