Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Zak,

I hope you are doing well. I am very glad to inform you that i got an opportunity to work in Matrix enterprise and you have been assigned as my mentor.

First, I would like to give some details about myself. I am a bachelor of Commerce and also have two diploma program certificates which support my graduation degree. If I talked about my experience then I have worked as an intern in HP company where my role was administrative assistant.

Here, I will start to work as an junior procurment administrator. However, I see myself as a senior buyer in the future and as a senior buyer, from you, I need a guidance to understand buisness operation and softwares which our company uses.

My training will be start from next week and my first day would be 1st of october this coming Monday. So, If you get a chance on monday and spare a time for a quick meeting then it would be a pleasure to meet you.

I hope to hear positive from you.

Sincerely,

Leandro pal

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.5
Coherence and Cohesion7.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three requested points: you outline your Commerce degree, diploma certificates and internship, explain that you want guidance with business operations and company software, and propose meeting on Monday. The purpose and relationship are clear, and the letter is appropriately addressed to your mentor. The career goal of becoming a senior buyer adds useful context. However, some details are less fully developed: you could explain more specifically what support you hope to receive, such as advice on procurement procedures or career development. The meeting suggestion is also conditional and lacks a time or alternative, so it is not yet a fully practical arrangement. Adding those details would make the response more complete and purposeful.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The letter has a clear overall progression: introduction, background, career aims and support needed, then a meeting proposal and closing. Paragraphing helps the reader follow these stages, and signposting such as “First” and “However” makes the relationships between ideas clear. The sequence from your previous experience to your new role and future ambition is logical. Some linking is a little mechanical, particularly “First, I would like to give some details” and “Here, I will start to work,” which could be replaced with more natural transitions. The meeting paragraph also combines the training date, first day and request in a way that could be clearer. A more direct invitation with a proposed time and an alternative would strengthen the progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant workplace vocabulary, including “mentor,” “administrative assistant,” “senior buyer” and “guidance,” so the reader can understand your background and goals. There is some attempt at more specific language, but several word-choice, collocation and spelling problems reduce precision: “buisness operation,” “procurment administrator,” “a guidance,” and “spare a time” are not accurate or natural forms. “I got an opportunity” is also less suitable in this formal introduction than a more polished expression. These errors do not prevent understanding, but they make the letter sound less fluent and professional. Check spelling carefully and learn common workplace collocations, especially for describing responsibilities, training and requests for a meeting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including “However, I see myself as a senior buyer in the future” and a conditional request about meeting on Monday. The main message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect accuracy. For example, “I am a bachelor of Commerce” needs a more suitable grammatical construction, while “my training will be start” has an incorrect verb form. There are also article and agreement problems in “as an junior” and “a guidance,” and inconsistent capitalisation of “I” and “Monday.” Aim to produce more consistently accurate sentences before adding complexity. Reviewing articles, verb forms and capitalisation, then proofreading each sentence, would improve control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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