Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir / Madam,

Good day! I am Rhonick Mallari Tayag, i am new employee here. I am writing this letter regard to you are my new mentor.

I studied in Media Fine Arts University in the Philippines, and i graduated as Bachelor of Fine arts major in Multimedia. I am good at photography but im also better in taking videos. I worked 5 years in Rv Photography Studio in Bataan, located in abucay, frome [redacted phone]. My position there is creative videographer, drone operator and also an editor, and sometimes a second photographer if needed.

I am extremely grateful to you to become my new mentor, i see all of your image you created and i am so amazed. I hope you will help me in photography about framing, color grading and composition. Because i want to learn photography from you.

I very much appreciate your dedication about mentoring , about our first meeting i would like to invite you to my workshop here in bataan. I was hoping that you can accept my invitation.I am looking forward to meet you, i send the details in your e-mail address. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Sincerly, Rhonick

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three requested points: you outline your degree and five years of studio experience, identify skills you hope to develop, and propose a first meeting. The details about videography, drone operation and editing make your background relevant, while framing, colour grading and composition give the mentor a clear idea of the support you want. The meeting proposal is present, but inviting the mentor to your workshop is not fully explained: give a date or a choice of times and clarify where it is. Your praise of the mentor is friendly, though it could be more concise so the practical purpose of the letter remains central. Overall, the task is covered, with some parts more fully developed than others.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph about your background, one about the help you seek, and a closing paragraph proposing a meeting. This makes the main information easy to locate. Some links between ideas are less smooth, however. For example, “Because i want to learn photography from you” repeats the preceding request rather than extending it, and the final paragraph moves from appreciation to an invitation and then to email details without clearly separating these points. Use paragraphing and linking phrases to show the relationship between your request and meeting proposal, and make the proposed arrangements more specific. The greeting and sign-off also suit a formal letter, although the tone shifts somewhat with “Good day!”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for your work and goals, including “creative videographer,” “drone operator,” “color grading” and “composition.” These terms communicate your experience and learning interests clearly. There are also noticeable problems with word choice, collocation and spelling that reduce naturalness: “writing this letter regard to” is not an appropriate expression, “all of your image you created” is unclear, and “dedication about mentoring” is awkward. Check spelling and capitalization as well, including “Sincerly,” “abucay” and “bataaan.” Aim for accurate, natural phrases rather than adding more technical terms; this will make the letter sound more fluent and professional.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

Your letter communicates its main points, but grammatical control is uneven. You use mostly simple sentence patterns, with some attempts to connect ideas, such as “I worked 5 years … frome 2021-2026.” Several sentences need more accurate structure: “I am writing this letter regard to you are my new mentor” lacks a grammatical connection, and “I hope you will help me in photography about framing…” has an unclear construction. There are also errors in capitalization and sentence boundaries, for example “i am” and “Because i want to learn photography from you.” Practise combining related ideas into complete sentences and checking verb forms, articles and punctuation. More accurate sentence construction would make your meaning easier to follow.

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