Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear team,

First of all, thank you very much for providing me the opportunity to give my brief introduction here. My name is kirandeep kour and basically I am from india state of rajasthan, but I have been living in surrey from last five years and I have done business and project management post degree diploma from vancouver community college. Regarding my work, I got position as a project manager coordinator in translink after graduating from college and it's happen afterall my all hardwork.

However, I prefer to get something better in the position and I would love to obtain some advice on that and it would be related to build my career more stronger than before. In addition, I would love to get advice on how to gain more confidance in front of public and more on finance.

For the meeting place, it would be easer to meet in the waves coffee shop where I can interact with you and get more information regarding the career.

Thank you very much for your time and help and will see you soon .

Best regards,

Kiran

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You cover the three requested points: you outline your education and current role, describe areas where you want support, and suggest a place to meet. The details about studying business and project management and working at TransLink make the introduction relevant. However, the help you want is not fully clear: “get something better in the position” could mean promotion, improved performance, or a different role. Your request for advice on finance is also brief and unexplained. The meeting suggestion names Waves Coffee Shop, but does not offer a time or ask whether it suits your mentor. Clarifying your career goal and proposing a specific day or time would make the letter more complete and purposeful.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and background to your requests and a meeting suggestion, then closing politely. Paragraph breaks help separate these functions, and transitions such as “However” and “In addition” show how ideas relate. At times, though, the progression feels mechanical or the connection between ideas is unclear. For example, “However” does not clearly contrast with the preceding account of your work, and the sentence about wanting “something better” is difficult to follow. The final meeting paragraph is also very brief. Use clearer links between your career background and the support you seek, and develop the meeting arrangement with a proposed time and a question about availability.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main points, including relevant terms such as “project management,” “career,” “advice,” and “interact.” However, several noticeable word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems reduce precision. “Get something better in the position” is vague, while “build my career more stronger” is not a natural expression. “Confidance” and “easer” are misspelled, and “finance” is too broad to show what kind of guidance you need. Aim for more precise workplace language and check spelling carefully. For example, you could specify that you want to develop your leadership skills or understand budgeting, rather than referring generally to getting advice on finance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, errors in sentence structure, verb forms, articles, and prepositions are frequent enough to make some sentences awkward or difficult to interpret. For instance, “I have been living in surrey from last five years” needs a more accurate time expression, and “it's happen afterall my all hardwork” has problems with tense and sentence construction. The opening sentence also combines several details in a long structure that is hard to control. Practise separating background information into shorter sentences, and check verb tense and prepositions in each clause. This will make your ideas clearer while allowing you to use more varied structures accurately.

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