Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear sir,

I am writing this letter to inform you that I have joined as resident medical officer at your ICU recently and you are my mentor.Without mentor it become difficult to step up in career so I am looking forward to your involvement.

I have done my MBBS degree from a reputed government medical college hospital and then I did one year internship at this hospital.During my college life I was the highest mark holder from my batch and I did some research on critical patients.During internship I worked hard and learn how to manage critical patients on limited resources.

As I have an interest on dealing with critical patients I planned to work in an ICU after my internship.I have heard positive reviews about this institute and I am expecting to learn more about CV line, Intubation and CPR that give in advance level.

Although, I am a fresher here I am looking forward to meet with you personally on your free time.I will wait for your reply.

Thanks for your consideration.

Yours Faithfully,

Dr.Asif

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three requested points: you outline your MBBS studies and internship, explain that you hope to develop ICU skills, and express interest in meeting your mentor. The details about research and managing critical patients make the background relevant. However, the help you want is mainly listed as “CV line, Intubation and CPR,” without explaining what guidance or support you need in learning these skills. The meeting arrangement is also vague: “on your free time” does not suggest a specific day, time, or format. Develop these two points with a clear request and a practical meeting proposal, and use a more suitable greeting than “Dear sir” if you know your mentor’s name.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a clear overall arrangement: it introduces your new role, gives your educational and work background, explains your interests, and closes by requesting contact. Paragraphing helps the reader follow these stages, and links such as “then” and “Although” show some awareness of progression. To make the organisation more fluent, connect related ideas more explicitly and avoid abrupt transitions. For example, the move from your internship experience to “As I have an interest…” could explain how that experience led to your ICU role and learning goals. The final meeting request would also be clearer if separated from the general statement that you are looking forward to meeting. These refinements would make cohesion less dependent on simple sequencing.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of relevant medical and workplace vocabulary, including “resident medical officer,” “internship,” “critical patients,” and “limited resources.” These terms communicate your background and professional interests clearly, and the specific references to ICU procedures make the letter purposeful. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, however, as in “joined as resident medical officer,” “interest on dealing,” and “reviews about this institute.” “CV line” is also unclear in this context, and “advance level” does not express your intended meaning precisely. Choose conventional professional phrases and check the exact names of procedures and the forms of technical terms. This will make your vocabulary more precise and natural without losing the relevant detail.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the subordinate clause “Although, I am a fresher here…” and the sentence explaining your internship experience. The main message remains understandable, but some errors in verb forms, articles, agreement, and punctuation reduce accuracy. For example, “Without mentor it become difficult” needs an article and a correctly formed verb, while “I worked hard and learn” shifts tense within the same sentence. There are also missing spaces after full stops and inconsistent capitalisation. Review past-tense consistency when describing completed studies and work, and check articles in singular countable phrases. More accurate control of these patterns would strengthen the letter while retaining its range of sentence structures.

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