Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Mentor,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this as I see you as my mentor who can help me to achieve my goals.

Firstly, I would like to tell you about my previous studies and work experience. I have done my bachelors degree in computer science and I worked as a computer technician for 5 years. Furthermore, I know that you have been working in this field from a long time and know many more new techniques. I would like if you can help me to gain more knowledge about the computer.

Secondly, please let me know whenever you are free as I would like to make an appointment with you and want to discuss many more new things. I would appreciate that if you could give me your time as it willl help me a lot in future.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

Ayush

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the main purpose by introducing yourself, mentioning a computer science degree and five years as a computer technician, explaining that you want to develop your knowledge, and asking to arrange a meeting. These details are relevant, but the help you hope to receive is described quite generally as learning “more knowledge about the computer”; specify practical areas such as adapting to the company’s systems or developing particular technical skills. The meeting request also leaves the arrangements open: suggest a day, time, or place rather than only asking your mentor to say when they are free. A more personalised opening and a clearer explanation of your career goals would make the letter more fully developed and appropriately tailored to this situation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a clear overall sequence: you introduce your purpose, give background information, explain what support you want, and close by requesting a meeting. Paragraphing helps separate these stages, and phrases such as “Firstly” and “Secondly” make the progression easy to follow. However, these transitions feel somewhat mechanical, and the second paragraph combines your experience, an assumption about your mentor, and your request for help without developing the links between them. The repeated use of “many more new” also makes the ideas less smooth. To strengthen the flow, connect your experience directly to the skills you want to develop, and make the meeting proposal a distinct, specific next step.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the basic purpose of the letter, with relevant terms such as “mentor,” “computer technician,” “appointment,” and “work experience.” However, the range is limited and several phrases are imprecise or unnatural, including “help me to achieve my goals,” “gain more knowledge about the computer,” and “many more new things.” “Working in this field from a long time” also shows difficulty with natural collocation. These choices do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, but they make it sound repetitive and less professional. Use more specific workplace vocabulary to describe the support you need and the skills you hope to develop.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including “I would appreciate that if you could give me your time as it will help me a lot in future.” Most of the message remains understandable, and the letter’s basic sentence structure is generally controlled. Some grammatical errors remain, however: “I have done my bachelors degree” needs a more appropriate verb form and possessive punctuation, while “working in this field from a long time” uses an incorrect preposition pattern. In “I would like if you can help me,” the conditional structure is not well formed. Review articles, possessives, and conditional requests, and proofread carefully for the typo “willl.”

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