Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Mr. Raman,

I hope you are doing well. I am going to write this letter to introduce my self to you. I have joined your company this week, so I hope you would help me in daunting task.

Actually, I have completed bachelor of commerce from G.H.G Khalsa College, Ludhiana (India) in 2020. After completeing my graduation, I have joind State Bank of India as a full time cashier employee.

Now, I am selected in your company as a cashier employee. I would help to achieve all the targets, which you have planned. I hope you would help me in difficult situations like what is interest rate in your company and what is process.

I am going to start my job on 25th of october, 2026, so on that we will meet each other in the staff room. You could tell me when you are available.

Yours sincerely,

dee

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three requested points: you outline your commerce degree and cashier experience, say you hope for help with workplace procedures, and propose meeting in the staff room. These details make the letter relevant and its purpose clear. However, the support you request is somewhat unclear: “what is interest rate in your company and what is process” does not explain which procedures or skills you need guidance with. The meeting suggestion also needs a more definite arrangement, such as offering a day and time or asking about the mentor’s availability before proposing one. Develop these points more specifically, and make clear how your previous experience relates to your new role, to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter follows a sensible overall order: introduction, education and work history, the help you hope to receive, and a proposed meeting. Paragraph breaks help distinguish these stages, and expressions such as “After completing my graduation” and “Now” signal movement between ideas. Some connections are less clear or feel mechanical, particularly the shift from asking for support to saying “I would help to achieve all the targets,” which does not explain how this relates to your mentor’s role. The final meeting proposal is also vague, so the reader must infer the intended arrangement. Use clearer links between your experience, the guidance you need, and the meeting, and make the closing plan more specific.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main information, including “bachelor of commerce,” “full time,” “cashier,” and “staff room.” However, several noticeable word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems make parts of the letter less natural or less clear. “Daunting task” is an awkward description of starting a job, while “cashier employee” is unnecessarily repetitive. The phrase “what is interest rate in your company and what is process” is also imprecise for asking about workplace guidance. Check spelling in “my self,” “completeing,” and “joind,” and choose more natural phrases for your role and the support you need. More precise workplace vocabulary would improve clarity and tone.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mixture of simple and more developed sentence forms, including “After completing my graduation, I have joined…” and the sentence explaining when you will start work. The main message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect accuracy. For example, “I have completed bachelor of commerce” needs an article, and “After completeing my graduation” uses an incorrect verb form. In “I hope you would help me,” the modal choice is not well suited to expressing a present hope; “I hope you can help me” is more natural. The final sentence, “You could tell me when you are available,” would work better as a direct question. Practise articles, verb forms, and polite question structures while retaining your sentence variety.

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