Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear Sir, I'm Jims Bryan C. Dorog your apprentice. A lot of failures happen to me this past few weeks because of lock of knowledge also insufficient informations i've been extract in my mind. But i work hard as always and there's no time to be sitting pretty at work also I'm willing to do anything that can help me to grow in my work.

I would like to ask for your guidance and teachinh to enlarge my capabilities also my performance in my new work. As my mentor I'm willing to spend many time with you just to advice me and support my career as a new employee of this company.

I will meet you at the restaurant near jollibee at 5:30 pm and talk about anything that support me to build a good path in my career also the advice coming from you, see you their my Mentor.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The letter is relevant to the situation and includes a request for guidance and a proposed meeting, so the reader can identify your main purpose. However, the task is addressed only minimally: there is almost no outline of your previous studies or work experience, and the proposed meeting lacks a clear invitation or a way for the mentor to confirm or suggest another time. The opening, “Dear Sir,” is also less suitable when you have been given the mentor’s details; using their name would make the introduction more personal. Develop each bullet point with specific information—for example, your qualification and previous role, the skills you want to improve, and a flexible meeting arrangement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: it introduces you, explains the support you want, and then proposes a meeting. Paragraph breaks help distinguish these purposes. However, progression within sentences is sometimes difficult to follow, particularly in the opening, where the account of failures, lack of knowledge, and willingness to work is compressed together. Linking phrases such as “In my previous role…” and “I would particularly value your advice on…” would make the relationships between ideas clearer. The final sentence also combines the venue, time, discussion, career goals, and sign-off, making the ending feel crowded. Separate the meeting proposal from the closing and invite the mentor to confirm or suggest another time.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to workplace development, including “guidance,” “capabilities,” “performance,” and “support my career.” This gives the letter a basic range for its purpose. However, several inaccurate or unnatural choices make parts of the message harder to understand, such as “lock of knowledge,” “insufficient informations,” “teachinh,” and “sitting pretty.” Some phrases also do not fit the intended meaning: “spend many time with you just to advice me” would be clearer as a request for regular mentoring. Check spelling and use natural workplace collocations. More precise terms for your background and goals—such as “previous experience,” “professional development,” and “build my skills”—would make the letter clearer and more appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The letter attempts some longer sentence forms, including “As my mentor I'm willing to spend many time with you just to advice me,” but control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make the intended meaning unclear. For example, “A lot of failures happen to me this past few weeks” has an unsuitable tense and sentence pattern; “I have faced several challenges over the past few weeks” would be more accurate. In “I'm Jims Bryan C. Dorog your apprentice,” the introduction needs clearer sentence structure and punctuation. The final sentence also runs several ideas together without effective punctuation. Practise accurate past and present-perfect forms, articles and plural forms, and use shorter sentences where needed. This will help you express your ideas without losing the reader.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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