Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mrs Wilson,

I hope this finds you in good health. I am Miss Mercy a new employee of the firm who has been attached under you for a mentorship program.

I am a graduate of nursing science from Ebonyi State University Abakaliki. I completed my degree program in the year 2019, had my internship in the year 2020 at the FMC Umuahia, Followed by my service year at FMC Owo, Ondo state in 2021, where I immediately secured a Job placement in the year 2022, as a nursing officer at completion of my service year. Have worked in the parastatal for over a 2-year period but decided to move closer home, hence my application and employment in this hospital.

I have heard much about your excellent mentorship skill and I hope to enjoy every step of it. I would particularly need your help in navigating this place. Most importantly, in learning about the firms policies as it relates to executing my duties, in caring for the patients and in my career progression here.

I would appreciate it, if you could arrange for a formal meeting between us at your convenience, where we could both start up our mentee and mentor relationship to achieving our set goals.

I look forward to a formal meeting with you.

Yours sincerely,

Mercy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You address all three requested points and maintain a suitable, respectful tone for writing to a mentor. Your education and career history are clearly outlined, from your nursing degree through your internship, service year and current move. You also explain the support you want, especially guidance on workplace policies, patient care and career progression. The meeting request is present, but it is not yet a practical arrangement: “at your convenience” does not suggest a time, place or specific next step. The phrase “start up our mentee and mentor relationship” also makes the purpose less clear than a direct proposal to meet and discuss your goals. Developing this final point with a concrete suggestion would make the response more fully effective.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The letter has a clear overall progression: introduction, professional background, expectations of the mentor, and a closing request. Paragraphing supports this sequence, and transitions such as “Followed by” and “Most importantly” help connect details. The chronology in the background paragraph is understandable, although the long sentence listing your degree, internship, service year and job placement makes the information harder to process. The final two sentences repeat the wish for a formal meeting without adding much new information. For stronger cohesion, divide the career history into shorter sentences and make the meeting request the clear concluding action, rather than repeating it in the closing.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for a professional introduction, including “internship,” “career progression,” “mentorship” and “nursing officer.” These choices communicate your background and aims, and phrases such as “navigating this place” show an attempt to express a less routine idea. Some wording is imprecise or does not collocate naturally: “attached under you” is unclear, “mentorship skill” would usually be plural or phrased differently, and “start up our mentee and mentor relationship” is awkward. “The firm” is also less suitable when you are referring to a hospital. More precise workplace language and natural collocations would add the flexibility and control expected at a higher level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including the explanation beginning “where I immediately secured a Job placement” and the purpose clauses describing the help you need. The message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors are present. “I am Miss Mercy a new employee” needs punctuation or a linking structure, while “Have worked in the parastatal” lacks an explicit subject. The long career-history sentence also contains a sentence-boundary problem: “Followed by” is capitalised after a comma, and “Have worked” begins a new clause without a subject. There are also article and punctuation issues in “I would appreciate it, if.” Breaking up long sentences and checking subjects, clause boundaries and commas would improve accuracy.

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