Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.
Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter
give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience
explain what help you hope your mentor can give
suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear....... ,
Student answer (Band 4.0)
dear Kamal
I hope you are doing well. I'm writing this letter to introduce myself and give a clear picture of for my memtor.
my name is Navneet Sekhon. I have studied computer networking system technician I have worked in many companies as a computer technician. My recent job is as a technician JW electric company over here. I am working from last three years. I got promoted two times and this time. Period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 2.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 2.5
You begin appropriately by introducing yourself and provide some relevant background: you name your computer-networking studies, describe technician work, and mention three years at JW Electric and two promotions. However, the response is far too brief to complete the letter, and the main requirements are missing: you do not explain what support you want from Kamal or suggest a time and arrangement for a first meeting. The work-history details are also unfinished, ending with “and this time. Period.” As a result, the task is addressed only minimally. To improve, develop each of the three requested points, for example by identifying a skill you want guidance with and proposing a meeting during a break or after work.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The opening gives the letter a recognisable purpose, and the background information follows a basic sequence from studies to employment. However, the response stops before it develops into a complete letter, so there is no clear progression through the requested topics or closing. The paragraph contains several ideas joined together without clear sentence boundaries, while “and this time. Period.” interrupts the flow and leaves the meaning unclear. Use separate paragraphs for your introduction, background, hoped-for support, and meeting proposal. Linking phrases such as “After completing my studies” and “I would also appreciate your advice on…” would help the reader follow the progression without relying on abrupt transitions.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use enough basic vocabulary to communicate the general subject, including “computer technician,” “companies,” “promoted,” and “three years.” The wording is nevertheless limited and includes noticeable spelling and word-choice problems that make parts difficult to understand. “memtor” is a misspelling, and “give a clear picture of for my memtor” is not a natural way to describe the purpose of the letter. “My recent job is as a technician JW electric company over here” also needs more precise phrasing. Build a wider range of workplace and mentoring vocabulary, and check spelling and collocations. For example, you could refer to “career development,” “technical skills,” or “guidance on workplace procedures.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response relies mainly on short, simple statements, with little variety in sentence structure. Several grammatical problems make the relationships between ideas unclear. In “I have studied computer networking system technician,” the qualification needs a clearer grammatical form, such as “I studied to become a computer networking systems technician.” The sentence about your current role is missing a preposition and has an awkward tense construction; “I have worked at JW Electric as a technician for the past three years” would be clearer. The final fragment, “and this time. Period,” is not a complete sentence. Practise forming complete sentences and using present perfect with “for” to describe work continuing up to now.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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