Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mr. Cruz

My name is Michael Jordan Macaaras i am a new employee in the marketing department. And i am happy knowing that you are my mentor.

And i would like to give you a brief outline of my background. I graduated with a degree of business marketing in davao city university 2019. After that i worked for 1 year as a sales assistant in a retail company. In that job i learn about costumer service and teamwork.this is my first in a big company so i have lot to learn.

I hope you can help me with some things. First i would like some advice on how to do my work faster and better. Second i hope you can guide me with better career oppirtunities within the company. Finally i would like to learn how to communicate better with other department.

Could we arrange a meeting next week?. I am free on Monday or Thursday 4pm in the afternoon. And please let me know what day is good for you.

Thank you very for your support and i am looking forward to meeting you.

Yours Sincerely,

Michael Jordan Macaaras

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The letter addresses all three requirements clearly. You introduce yourself and give relevant background, including your marketing degree and a year as a sales assistant; you also explain the support you want with work performance, career development, and communication across departments. The proposed meeting arrangements are practical, with two possible days and a time, followed by an invitation for your mentor to choose. These ideas are relevant and the purpose remains clear throughout. To strengthen the response further, develop one or two requests with a little more context—for example, explain what aspect of your new role you would most like advice on. The content is effective, though some points remain quite general rather than being fully elaborated.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The information follows a clear, sensible sequence: introduction and background, the help you hope to receive, and arrangements for meeting. Paragraphing supports this progression, and signposts such as “First,” “Second,” and “Finally” make the requests easy to follow. The closing also fits the purpose of the letter. At times, however, the linking is somewhat mechanical, particularly in the list of requests, and several sentences begin with “And.” For a more polished flow, connect related ideas more naturally and avoid starting multiple sentences with the same conjunction. Overall, the reader can follow the message without difficulty, and the organisation is consistently clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main points, including relevant workplace terms such as “marketing department,” “sales assistant,” “career opportunities,” and “communicate.” However, the range is limited and some choices or forms are inaccurate, which keeps the expression from being consistently precise. For example, “do my work faster and better” is understandable but informal and broad; “improve my efficiency and performance” would be more suitable. There are also spelling errors in “costumer,” “oppirtunities,” and “davaо,” and “degree of business marketing” is an awkward phrase. Build a wider set of accurate professional collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The letter communicates its meaning, but sentence structures are mostly simple, and errors occur often enough to affect accuracy. Examples include “My name is Michael Jordan Macaaras i am a new employee,” where two independent clauses need clearer punctuation, and “I graduated with a degree of business marketing in davao city university 2019,” which has problems with articles, prepositions, and sentence construction. Verb forms also need attention: “In that job i learn” should use a past-tense form because the job has ended. Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, including the question mark followed by a full stop in “next week?.” Practise accurate past-tense sentences and combining clauses with appropriate punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.