Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Mr. Patel,

I am writing to express my privilege that I will be working under your guidance for this company in the upcoming years. I have completed my Bachelor degree in Computer Science and Master course in Business Analysis field. Apart from this, I worked as a Junior analyst at Tata group of industries in India, now I moved to Canada last year and looking further in my career.

So, as a mentor I would be grateful if you could assists me to get into Canadian working style and also seek a professional helps related to my job role. To be specific, I can perform all the given tasks appropriately on time, along with this, I am also well prepapred for the next day, before leaving the office. Unfortunately, my weakness is to talk to the client about our project, in which I struggle more to make them understand the concept.

I would be appreciated, if you could arrange our first meeting at your convenient time.

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

Patel

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three requested points: you outline your Computer Science and Business Analysis studies and your junior analyst experience, explain that you want help adapting to Canadian workplace practices and communicating with clients, and ask about arranging a first meeting. These details make the letter relevant and give the mentor a useful introduction. However, the meeting request is not very specific, since “at your convenient time” offers no suggested day, time, or format. The help you seek is also clearer for client communication than for your broader job role. Develop these points with a concrete meeting suggestion and a little more detail about the guidance you hope to receive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a clear overall arrangement: your background comes first, followed by the support you want and then the meeting request and closing. Paragraphing helps the reader follow these stages, and phrases such as “Apart from this” and “To be specific” signal relationships between ideas. Some connections are less smooth, however. “So, as a mentor” is an awkward transition, and the sentence beginning “To be specific” shifts from the help you need to describing your strengths without clearly linking the two. The final meeting request is also very brief. To strengthen progression, use more natural transitions and explain how your work habits and client-communication difficulty relate to the support you are seeking.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary for introducing your background and goals, including “Junior analyst,” “guidance,” “professional,” and “client.” The meaning is generally understandable, but several word choices and collocations are noticeably unnatural or inaccurate, which limits precision. For example, “express my privilege” does not naturally convey that you are pleased to have a mentor, and “professional helps” is not the appropriate form for the support you want. “Looking further in my career” and “get into Canadian working style” are also unclear or awkward. Choose conventional workplace expressions and check word forms and spelling, such as “prepared,” so your message sounds more fluent and professional.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more developed sentence forms, including the sentence beginning “Unfortunately, my weakness is…” and the clause “in which I struggle…”. The main ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors affect accuracy. In “I would be grateful if you could assists me,” the verb after “could” should be in its base form; “I would be appreciated” also uses the wrong construction. The opening sentence has an awkward structure, while “now I moved to Canada last year” combines time expressions and tense in a confusing way. Review modal verb patterns, passive versus active forms, and past-time clauses. More consistently accurate sentence patterns would make your professional tone clearer.

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