Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Shayan,

I hope you are doing well. I am Yagna Parmar, a new employee in the pharmacy store. I am writing this letter to give brief introduction about myself in terms of professional career.

I have studied Bachelor of Pharmacy from the Gujarat Technological University from 2013 to 2017 in India. After that, I have been working as a Pharmacist in the pharmaceutical company for about a year. Then, almost 2 years in the Hospital Pharmacy and lastly, I spent almost 3 years in the generic medical store as a Pharmacy Manager.

I have been working as a Pharmacy Assistant (volunteer work) in one of the chain Pharmacy in Toronto, Canada. Since this volunteering gave me good exposure to filling the prescription as well as blister pack followed by scanning responsibilities of all the regular and Narcotics prescriptions. I was wondering if you can help me to learn the prescription processing as well as insurance claiming procedure of individual patient profile.

It would be grateful if you could set up in-person meeting so, we both can meet and futher discuss on my future responsibilities.

Thank you for being my mentor and I am looking forward to your response.

Best Regards,

Yagna

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three requested points: you outline your pharmacy degree and work history, explain that you want guidance with prescription processing and insurance claims, and request an in-person meeting. These details make the letter relevant and appropriately personal. The study and employment history is specific, but the help you hope to receive is less fully developed: you could explain which procedures are unfamiliar or what career goals you would like your mentor to support. The meeting request is also quite general; suggesting a day, time, or a way to arrange one would make it more actionable. The response covers the task well overall, while some ideas could be extended further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The letter has a clear progression from introduction, to previous experience, to the support you need, and finally to a meeting request and closing. Paragraphing helps the reader follow these stages, and phrases such as “After that” and “Then” make the work history chronological. The sequence in the experience paragraph is slightly list-like, however, and the sentence beginning “Since this volunteering…” does not connect smoothly to the previous point. You could improve flow by combining related experience into a more complete sentence and using clearer links between your current duties and the skills you want to develop. Overall, the organisation is logical and the message is easy to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use relevant workplace and pharmacy vocabulary, including “Pharmacist,” “Hospital Pharmacy,” “filling the prescription,” and “insurance claiming procedure,” which communicates your background and needs clearly. There is some attempt at more specific terminology, such as “Narcotics prescriptions” and “individual patient profile,” though a few expressions are not natural or precise in this context. “Insurance claiming procedure” could be expressed more idiomatically, and “good exposure” is a broad phrase where a more exact description of your experience would help. Spelling is generally clear, although “futher” is a slip. A wider range of natural collocations and more precise phrasing would make the letter sound more fluent and professional.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex forms, including the conditional request “if you can help me” and the purpose clause “to learn the prescription processing.” The main message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors persist. For example, “give brief introduction” needs an article, and “Then, almost 2 years in the Hospital Pharmacy” is a sentence fragment rather than a complete clause. The sentence beginning “Since this volunteering gave me…” is also incomplete as written, while “It would be grateful if you could…” uses an incorrect construction. Practise forming complete sentences when listing your experience and use patterns such as “I would be grateful if…” for polite requests. These changes would improve accuracy while retaining your range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.