Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.
Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter
give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience
explain what help you hope your mentor can give
suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear....... ,
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Dear sir,
I hope your doing well.I m writting this letter to introduce myself .I have been working in the hospital since 2017 as a women medical officer.Additional i have completed my diploma in radiology in 2019. Moreover i have experience of ultrasound since 2012.
dear sir i am passionate,hardworker and fulfill my responsibilities on time.I want to persue my studies and want to prepare for my postgraduation exam .I would like you to guide me in this regards.I recently come to know that you are also giving classes to the students then please let me know about the class timmings ,duration,total course fee and its content as im facing more difficulty in my physcis module.
Please aknowledge me about the scedule in which you have free time so that i can meet you and discuss my issues
Thank you in advance.I Would look forward for your prompt response
your sincerly
rose
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You cover the three requested points: you outline hospital work and radiology studies, explain that you want guidance with postgraduate preparation, and ask about arranging a meeting. The request for class details also gives the mentor a clearer sense of the support you need. However, the study and work history is difficult to follow because the dates and sequence are not explained, and the help you hope to receive is mostly framed as a general request to “guide me.” The meeting arrangement is also incomplete: you ask when the mentor is free but do not suggest a day, time, or format. Clarifying your background and proposing a specific meeting option would make the letter more fully developed.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The information follows a broadly sensible order: background, the support you want, and a request to meet. This makes the purpose of the letter understandable. However, the ideas are presented in one long block, with no clear paragraphing to separate these stages. Some linking words, such as “Additional” and “Moreover,” help connect details, but the transitions are sometimes mechanical, and “dear sir” restarts the letter rather than linking ideas smoothly. The sequence of dates also makes the background less clear. Use three short paragraphs and connect each point with clear references—for example, explain how your radiology diploma relates to your current work—so the progression is easier to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use vocabulary relevant to the workplace and your goals, including “mentor,” “responsibilities,” “postgraduation exam,” and “ultrasound.” These choices communicate the main subject, and you attempt more specific terms when asking about classes and course content. However, spelling errors and awkward word combinations are noticeable, including “writting,” “hardworker,” “class timmings,” and “prompt response.” Some expressions are also imprecise: “in this regards” does not clearly specify what guidance you need, while “women medical officer” may not be the intended professional title. Check spelling and choose natural collocations, such as “class schedule” and “course fee,” to make your meaning clearer and more professional.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The letter includes mostly simple statements and some attempts to combine ideas, such as “I recently come to know that you are also giving classes to the students then please let me know…”. This shows an effort to express connected requests, but the sentence is difficult to control and would be clearer as two sentences. Errors in verb forms and sentence construction occur throughout: “your doing” should be “you’re doing,” “I recently come” needs a past-tense form, and “I would look forward” should be “I look forward.” Missing spaces after full stops and inconsistent capitalisation also affect punctuation. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled complex forms using conjunctions such as “because” or “so that.”
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