Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Mr. john, I am writing to yuo information about myself and my short career and experience in the field of finance department. I am working in this organisation since three year as accountant iin finance department.I have completed my MBA Three and half years ago from a wll reputed institution.I have experience of auditing for more than two years since i have been appointed in this company and little experience i accounting. Now, you are detailed as mentor of mine, to advise me in matters related to account and audit,I would like explain some problems,i faced while working in these fields, and expect your valuable suggestions to mitigate these issues.Firstly, accounts maintained are different as i have studied.I need your help to overcome on these matters. I have booked seats in nearby returant to take with and of cours to have dinner with you. i am looking forward for your positive response. yours sincere, Javed Iqbal.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You cover the main purpose of the letter and include relevant information about your studies, experience, the support you want, and a possible meeting. For example, you mention your MBA, accounting and auditing work, and ask for advice about differences between your studies and workplace practice. However, some points are only partly developed: the study and work history is difficult to follow, and the meeting suggestion is unclear because “I have booked seats in nearby restaurant” does not specify a date or ask whether your mentor is available. Explain your background more clearly and propose a specific time and place, while making the request for guidance more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The letter follows a broadly sensible order: introduction and background, the help you need, then a meeting suggestion and closing. This gives the reader a basic sense of the message. However, the progression is not consistently clear because several ideas are crowded into long, poorly separated sections, and links between them are limited. The shift from describing your experience to asking for help could be made more explicit, and the dinner proposal appears abruptly. Use clear paragraphs for each task point and connect ideas with simple, accurate transitions. Also ensure the closing is presented as a conventional sign-off so the letter feels complete and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to the workplace and finance, including “accountant,” “finance department,” “auditing,” “mentor,” and “suggestions.” These choices communicate the general subject and show some range beyond basic everyday language. However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors sometimes make the message harder to understand, such as “yuo,” “wll reputed,” “returant,” and “mitigate these issues.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, including “short career and experience” and “accounts maintained are different as I have studied.” Proofread spelling and choose more natural collocations. For example, describe your “professional background” and say that workplace accounting procedures differ from those you studied.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple statements and more extended sentences, but grammatical control is inconsistent. Errors occur in verb forms, articles, agreement, and sentence construction: “I am working in this organisation since three year” needs a present-perfect form, while “as accountant” needs an article. The sentence beginning “Now, you are detailed as mentor of mine” is also difficult to interpret because its structure is faulty. Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, and several sentences run together without clear boundaries. Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then build longer sentences with clauses such as “I would appreciate your advice because…” Careful editing for tense, articles, and sentence boundaries would improve clarity.

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