Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.
Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter
give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience
explain what help you hope your mentor can give
suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear....... ,
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Dear Sir/Madam,
I have recently joined the company and I was given the details about you being my mentor that will be guiding me with my career. I am happy you being my mentor and I am writing to give you a brief intruduction about myself.
Firstly, Talking about my studies, I hold a Masters in Finance as I always have been keen to learn and explore more in the field of Finance. Since childhood I have been good with numbers and calculation and that motivated me to pursue my further education in Finance. On top of that, after my graduation i continued my career as a finance representative where i further developed my skills in Financial products.
I am hoping that with my new role as a Financial Analysts you could guide me on the analyzing strategies that can help me to excel in my role. As this role will be something different from what i was doing before your guidance will be definitely a blessing to me.
We can arrange to meet to discuss about the advice and support you can provide to me whenever you are available in next week. I will be flexible anytime you are comfortable with and we could meet in the conference room in the building.
I am looking forward to meet you.
Your faithfully,
ABC
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
You address all three points in the task: you outline your Master’s in Finance and previous work as a finance representative, explain that you want guidance with analysis strategies, and propose meeting the following week in the conference room. The purpose and friendly, respectful tone are clear throughout. Your background is supported with some detail, such as your interest in finance and the skills developed in your previous role. The help you hope to receive is also relevant, though it could be more specific—for example, you could identify particular aspects of the new analyst role where you need support. The meeting suggestion would be more complete if you offered a specific day or time and invited your mentor to suggest an alternative.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0
The letter has a clear progression: introduction, education and work history, the support you hope to receive, and arrangements for a meeting. Paragraphing helps the reader follow these stages, and transitions such as “Firstly” and “On top of that” make the sequence explicit. The overall organisation is logical and easy to understand. Some linking is a little mechanical, however, and the opening sentence is long and awkwardly connected, which makes the relationship between joining the company and receiving the mentor’s details less smooth. The meeting paragraph also repeats the idea of availability (“whenever you are available” and “anytime you are comfortable with”). More concise linking and a clearer, direct invitation would make the cohesion feel more natural.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of vocabulary for a professional introductory letter, including relevant terms such as “career,” “financial products,” “analyzing strategies,” and “excel in my role.” These choices communicate your background and goals clearly. There are, however, some spelling and word-choice inaccuracies, including “intruduction,” “calculation” where the plural is intended, and “Financial Analysts” for the role you describe. A few expressions are also not quite natural in this context, such as “I am happy you being my mentor” and “a blessing to me.” Aim for accurate, conventional professional phrasing and check spelling and capitalization. This would make your vocabulary more precise and natural while retaining the appropriate tone.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including a reason clause in “as I always have been keen to learn” and a conditional idea in “strategies that can help me to excel.” Most of the message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors occur. For example, “I am happy you being my mentor” needs a complete construction, such as “I am pleased that you will be my mentor,” and “I am looking forward to meet you” should use a gerund after “looking forward to.” There are also inconsistent capital letters at the start of sentences and for “I,” as well as awkward sentence connections in the opening. Review verb patterns, sentence boundaries, and capitalization to improve accuracy.
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